Being haunted…




TOUGH months….

Something very very horrific is attached to these months and sometimes I wish someone just removed them from the yearly calendar. Why can’t someone erase these three months and put something else in place of them?????

October brings a Diwali in its wake….. and then comes November..

Diwali is strange.. what was it celebrated for? The victory of good over evil??? Ha!!

It’s very ironic that the fireworks that blast away to glory on the Diwali day somehow try to mimic the CROWS cawing inside my head.. trying to GET me to listen to them.. forcibly and trying to make me sick.

The bombs are the best.. they irritate me the most. They are the closest match to November sickness.

Yes, I suffer from November sickness. I do NOT want this month to come. I do not want November. It’s something like.. I might call it a phobia.. but it’s not really a phobia.

November has been good, in fact! November was when I joined my new job last year. November was the start of a new life. How I had moved here.. a complete nervous wreck, a scared creature.. struggling to find acceptance in a strange land. Suddenly left alone in a world that seemed more advanced and more mature than I could ever be… BUT November is bad.

October is STUNTED… like these little Chinese people walking around on their little feet .. … plop plop plop.. .. and everywhere I see … buses, trains, expensive cars that are supposed to be scrapped in 10 years’ time, even if they r in good condition… the Flyer that CRIED of the times I was gonna face.. it knew and it smiled at me.. the knowing smile, the cocky one-sided grin that spoke of sympathy.. and forebode a tragedy.. the southern most tip of the Asia Pacific.. the lion that MOCKED at me.. ha ha haaa.. Asia Business Forums, IBC Asia Pacific, Informa group, presentation on electric vehicles, conference producer, apply apply appply.. the chinese temple, the smelly fruit causing me to feel nauseatic, tears lots of them… pink dress.. sitting on the floor, You won’t leave me na? TELL me you won’t?? dollars dollars here keep some just in case you need them… She is a bitch.. the chinese girl who took your interview.. churning churning of emotions… rejection.. library… school girl being molested… drink with big gelatin balls.. chocolate flavour… fat straw.. tears tears.. Rebecca Wolfe…Fathi Fadzil… Success… almost!!! another milestone of destruction.. cake, homemade.. blue skirt brown pullover.. more tears.. …………………..

Day 289: Haunting Memories

December died. Just like that.

And everything fell silent………………………..



  1. Hello.
    Al these emotions are just a part of life. Be happy & enjoy life. Don’t fret over things that you cannot control. What’s done in the past is done…we cannot go back & change it. All we can do is become wise to our mistakes so we don’t continue to make them in the future.

    Quite an interesting post.
    Thanks for sharing. I appreciate your visit & kind words too.

    Printed Pages


  2. Moving on is never easy Punam. I know how difficult it is to look ahead and not turn back and long for something that is over and gone. Every time I do that I tell myself I am better off where I am and that keeps me going. I hope someday soon you will be able to look back and see only the positive and look forward with optimism.


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