Respect comes when earned. Something that is given away freely has no value. We all are like that – human tendency, to hoard anything and everything, moreso, when it costs nothing applies to both materialistic things as well as non-monetary elements such as respect. But then, what is respect when not earned? A free perk. Which nullifies it to zero value.
One may behave in the rudest possible way and treat everyone like crap – but fact remains that respect that is being received through induced fear and coercing, will not stay for long, and is not of much use either. Office grapevine, community gossips, and friendly encounters will all offer opportunities where a person’s respect is challenged and often brutally murdered. That is the time when what you have stood for in life, speaks for you and ensures that there are people who vouch for you while others pull you down. It’s a circle and comes full swing. (Not that it should bother you by any way, for someone who thinks too much of ‘what others think of me’ will only always do what others expect him to do, and not what he thinks is right.)
And then comes self-respect. Unless you have some, do not expect anyone else to respect you. Without self-respect, there is no respect. Someone told me yesterday, “You are strong in actions, but weak in words.” Struck me heavily. I try to be strong. But my words fail me, because I perhaps do a big deal about weakness. I am strong but I perceive myself to be weak.
And then the signs. God is speaking to you everyday. In novel ways. Paulo Coelho says, “Read the signs. They are everywhere.”
I lost an expensive pair of my spectacles yesterday. They are expensive – gifted by a good friend. It was right there where we started looking for, but we went looking for it everywhere. Finally, I found it exactly where I had discovered that I had lost it. But then, this turned out to be a sign. Because while I ventured out searching for it, I exclaimed, “I usually find the things I lose. There is something inside me, that is so strong that I eventually find what I lose.” And then it struck to me. I am strong. It is me. It has to be me. God has gifted me the ability and the strength. I need to believe in it. I am not giving up. Too many people depend on me.
I am looking for a solution everywhere – running helter skelter, but maybe just maybe, the solution is right there, in front of my eyes, and I am missing it. Maybe God wants to tell me that it is right there inside me.. and I will have to come back to square one, to receive salvation. Like I went everywhere searching for my lost specs, only to find it at the place where I said, “Where are my spec? I lost them!” – just like that, maybe it is what applies to my life too.. where in I have been knocking doors from pillar to post, and yet, I am still searching. The realisation is big. It happened yesterday. I am trying to read the signs. And I believe. I b.e.l.i.e.v.e. Period.