She sold herself

“Aseen sajna tuti yaari da, ajj tak afsos manaunde rahe…
Tusee heera gawa ke khush phirde, asee pathran laay pachtaunde rahe”

I am nursing my broken heart, and still mourning for it till date,
You are happy losing a diamond, I am still regretting the loss of a pebble.

She was hurled out the car by the man she loved. She was drunk, drugged and high. Wandering on the streets aimlessly in the dark of the night, she sized up her past two relationships. They were more physical than emotional. Emotional at her end, but the men, only wanted her body. She couldn’t see it. Everyone tried to show her the truth. She defied.

She did not want to believe them, because she believed him. He wouldn’t commit. Yet, she believed him. There were red lights every time they spoke about marriage. Yet, she believed him. He would avoid talking about ‘us’. She had never been in any of his future plans. Yet, she believed him.

Today, when he unceremoniously hurled her out of his car, bang on the highway, in a state of stupor, her eyes suddenly saw what everyone was trying to show her. It was her body he had wanted all along. It was only sex. No love. She was dazed at the realization. All alone.

Passersby look at her – wierdo. She is talking to herself.

I am a commodity. You never loved me. I am only a commodity. How dare you do this to me. You knew HE had used me too, before you. Yet, you did the same thing to me. Nobody sees the heart that beats inside a woman’s body. A woman is only the sum total of her physical assets. You know what? So be it. If that is what it is, then that is what it is gonna be.

She is seen at red light areas now – in the same stupor, red-shot eyes and swaying in lilting dresses. People still use her. Use her body. At least, this time, she knows that that is what they want from her. At least, this time, they won’t take her heart and mangle it into a million bloody shreds. At least, they pay her now. She can always buy those drugs and keep herself high. Until her last breath. Bastards.

Built from: Heroine, Fashion and The Dirty Picture



  1. a very unique picture where unlike other women-centric movies
    a women finds peace within herself and makes a choice establishing her equation with wonder it was not of the best movies .Must see for all those who believe that as human being men and women are equals.


    • Yes, I did realise that, Sampath ji. That is the problem na.. if only men and women were treated as equals.. But women are in most cases seen as objects of affection and nothing else. Someone comes into her life – is not her choice. Some one goes out of her life – that is also not her choice. Everyone else decides that.


      • True..happens….sometimes you know we write and then when we read we realise the profoundness of it!!

        Loved the punjabi lines the most…so beautiful and touching.I sometimes wonder you know what makes a human do this to another human. We could be rich, poor, man, woman, upper caste, lower caste but how can we forget at the end of the day we all are human with the same emotions and sentiments that hurt when trampled upon like this.


        • Yepp.. but then, if everyone started being good, then how will the Gods show us that good has to win over evil and blah blahs??? Hmm? As if that happens these days .. 😦
          Sadly… kalyug mein ulti ganga hi behti hai.. good people keep suffering.. and bad people keep flourishing,, and what happens to the grey people in between? he he.. zindagi chalti rehti hai.


  2. Impact-full indeed Punam!

    Yes, you showed the real picture of so many women in our country, which is what made those movies come in the lime-light. Yet, there seems to be no one doing anything for them, which is what amazes me.

    I guess it is the woman herself who needs to stand up and take action and do something to bring about a change – don’t you think so? Yes, in a male dominating society it might seem impossible, but there has to be a start somewhere.

    Thanks for sharing, and I like the changes on your blog too. πŸ™‚


  3. I read one post.. then the next.. then the next. really impactful words and I totally found myself agreeing with the words… the truth, many a time, is stranger than fiction.. keep writing.

    On an unrelated note, have you considered a Facebook like badge amongst the widgets… no particular reason.. by default, was gonna go and Click the button so that I’d get updates in my FB timeline…


    • *Hi Dr. Roshan,*

      *There actually was an FB Fan page that rested on the blog’s bottom bar – and this has disappeared since I had changed my blog theme – Thanks for highlightinh this – You can search me on FB as Punam@DreamzForever.* *I’ll add the FB button and the other stuff that got lost in theme update. :)* ** *Glad to see you here, and hope you keep coming… to read further posts (or the previous ones too!!)* ** *Regards* *Punam* *



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