Happy Anniversary, IndiBlogeshwaris!!
May 2013 has been eventful. I have had several big changes. Actually, Mr. Big Changes seems to be stalking me. Relentlessly. And this has been like the toughest churning month.
#TheElusiveOne, remained to me, learning how to drive. I tried once 3 years back. Couldn’t get the hang of it. Then, after an awful experience with an auto rickshaw fellow, I vowed to learn how to drive. I just had to become 100% independent. So, I joined a driving school. One class down, the management wants me to sign for 30 days of driving lessons and pay the entire fee, so that they can get me the LL. I refused.
And that went off the list again. But I wasn’t ready to give up. So I joined another driving school. This time, I did get a good instructor who decided to teach me how to stop a car first, before teaching me how to drive. Once I realized I could stop it, the fear was gone. So, there, I learnt and got my LL. Then I got my DL too.. the moment was a happy moment. It meant freedom for me. It meant no more dependence. Best, was when I drove down to my home town, on the highway a few days back. I drove 250 kms. Learnt, practised. It was a liberating feeling.
#TheElusiveOne was also my own need to keep myself motivated and in a good frame of mind. There were too many many many distractions, betrayals, disappointments, shocks and changes again, but I managed with daily affirmations, counted my blessings and I reached out. To friends. I accepted affection I had always resisted. I went out, met old friends, made new friends and just learnt to be myself. I met IndiBlogeshwaris Janaki Nagaraj, Nethra and Indrani Ghose. I also met Vinita Kherdekar, a warm person with a beautiful heart. It was satisfying to say the least. Liberating again. My best friend bought a car and reserved a place in the dikki for me. How outrageous!! He finally took me out on a drive – yes ladies, not in the dikki, but the front seat.
#TheElusiveOne was also something that I realized – my habit of undermining myself. I have always thought – believed that I wasn’t worth much. The work I did, was always perfect and upto the professional mark. But I never believed so. This May changed that thought. Today, I am able to see the value of my work and the quality that I put in it, and hence, am able to command what I am worth. It’s helped me feel substantive.
#TheElusiveOne – was to update my skills. It’s been 3 years and the thought that I had to either study further or update my skills kept coming and going like a ping pong ball. It never did happen. The last 3 months, specifically, in May 2013, I completed two certifications in a course that I was very much interested in. The learning mode is still on.
Finally, talking of an analogy, when a trapeze artist leaves one platform, just before his hands reach out another, he is hanging in thin air. That’s where I am now. Right in the middle of two platforms. Giving life a chance. Because if I do not venture out, I will never know if I was capable or not.
This post on my new blog is a big thanks to all the Blogeshwaris who have been themselves and have offered support just by being.
Thanks to Garima Obrah, IndiBlogeshwari family is right here, in this beautiful collage below: