Come February and everyone around me gears up for Valentines’ Day. A day many people await in their lives –
couples who wait for the day to gift each other red hearts and diamonds, red roses and trinkets;
singles waiting to find the partner of their dreams;
people who lost love, trying to get it back or make up for it by replacing the memory with new one;
lonely people eyeing happy couples and feeling wistful…
However, people across ages have asked this question and I might be crazy but I wish to ask this again – What is love?
Does love only mean “not being lonely?”
Do we associate the “presence” of someone special as love?
Do we call the fluttering of heart as love?
Do we say dependence on someone is love?
I wouldn’t be too sure.
There are people who have found their partners and settled down.
These people think they have found love. I beg to differ. Love comes anyways. They have found a person who trusts them, respects them, walks life with them and puts them above everyone else.
There is a big difference. The latter causes love. Not the other way round. You don’t fall in love and then trust the person blah blah blah. You respect a person, spend time with them, understand them and respect them. Then you fall in love.
But then, falling in love is certainly not the be all and end all of life. However, we make it so. We turn a lifetime of living and loving into a one time event of falling in love. What about after? What about after after?
I mean this is life, right? One has to LIVE it. One day at a time. It can’t be lived in the clouded haze of love, thinking everything’s going to be picture perfect and hunky dory. Life will hurl problems. There are going to be downs, and ups too. Sometimes more, sometimes less. And that daily activity of living a respectful, adjusting, trusting life with your partner is the bigger part of love. One, that is discounted by most dove-eyed individuals.
While we are all busy searching for love outside of ourselves and eternally trying to to self-satiate with the feeling of headiness that love brings, we are unaware of how to love our own selves – an act that would be a life saver when partners move on to new shores or hook up with new people.
And this strange quest perhaps, is for the “feeling” of love, and not love itself, for what is the depth of love, that only a still-in-love 60 year old couple walking hand-in-hand by the sea would know.
As you negotiate through the twisted paths of love, you realize that there is no gratification. All that remains is just gratitude. Plain gratitude.
Where once you would have felt heady, if today, you just feel gratitude and a small prayer slips your lips into the Universe, you know you have come really far.
Where once you were “dependent” on someone, if today, you trust no one but yourself and still have the grace to accept love, you know you have come really far.
Where once you feared losing someone, if today, you are prepared to understand that everything in life is transient and you can only hold as many grains as the sand in your palm, you know you are wiser. And calmer.
So, celebrating love in its own way is love itself, Valentines’ or not, and love aches for the gratification of love. Have you ever thought about it? Have you ever personified love?
Try it. You will understand Love more than you could ever do.
A Walk into the Woods