Matters of the Heart

tree-of-love_1366x768

Image Source:
love-meter.net

Come February and everyone around me gears up for Valentines’ Day. A day many people await in their lives –
couples who wait for the day to gift each other red hearts and diamonds, red roses and trinkets;
singles waiting to find the partner of their dreams;
people who lost love, trying to get it back or make up for it by replacing the memory with new one;
lonely people eyeing happy couples and feeling wistful…

However, people across ages have asked this question and I might be crazy but I wish to ask this again – What is love?

Does love only mean “not being lonely?”
Do we associate the “presence” of someone special as love?
Do we call the fluttering of heart as love?
Do we say dependence on someone is love?

I wouldn’t be too sure.
There are people who have found their partners and settled down.
These people think they have found love. I beg to differ. Love comes anyways. They have found a person who trusts them, respects them, walks life with them and puts them above everyone else.

There is a big difference. The latter causes love. Not the other way round. You don’t fall in love and then trust the person blah blah blah. You respect a person, spend time with them, understand them and respect them. Then you fall in love.

But then, falling in love is certainly not the be all and end all of life. However, we make it so. We turn a lifetime of living and loving into a one time event of falling in love. What about after? What about after after?

I mean this is life, right? One has to LIVE it. One day at a time. It can’t be lived in the clouded haze of love, thinking everything’s going to be picture perfect and hunky dory. Life will hurl problems. There are going to be downs, and ups too. Sometimes more, sometimes less. And that daily activity of living a respectful, adjusting, trusting life with your partner is the bigger part of love. One, that is discounted by most dove-eyed individuals.

While we are all busy searching for love outside of ourselves and eternally trying to to self-satiate with the feeling of headiness that love brings, we are unaware of how to love our own selves – an act that would be a life saver when partners move on to new shores or hook up with new people.

And this strange quest perhaps, is for the “feeling” of love, and not love itself, for what is the depth of love, that only a still-in-love 60 year old couple walking hand-in-hand by the sea would know.

As you negotiate through the twisted paths of love, you realize that there is no gratification. All that remains is just gratitude. Plain gratitude.

Where once you would have felt heady, if today, you just feel gratitude and a small prayer slips your lips into the Universe, you know you have come really far.

Where once you were “dependent” on someone, if today, you trust no one but yourself and still have the grace to accept love, you know you have come really far.

Where once you feared losing someone, if today, you are prepared to understand that everything in life is transient and you can only hold as many grains as the sand in your palm, you know you are wiser. And calmer.

So, celebrating love in its own way is love itself, Valentines’ or not, and love aches for the gratification of love. Have you ever thought about it? Have you ever personified love?

Try it. You will understand Love more than you could ever do.

Much love,
A Walk into the Woods

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27 Comments

  1. Hey that good work and very well presented . But Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you riding through the ruts, don’t complicate your mind. Wake Up and Live!
    And about love I would like to quote Love doesn’t just sit there, like a stone, it has to be made, like bread; remade all the time.
    Keep Up the good work .

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    • Absolutely, but such love, Kathy, is difficult to find. Before going in search for love outside of oneself, if we find love within ourselves, it would translate into a beautiful backup, for then, your happiness is not limited to acceptance/rejection of another being’s love.
      A lot of us have had our hearts broken, and if we only started out loving ourselves first, every decision would be taken with our well-being in mind.
      If we love ourselves, we wouldn’t give a chance to our partners to take advantage of us, to bully us or to blackmail us into doing things that we would not normally do.

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  2. The depth of the love is shown only when times get bad and the couple stick together and get through it. That I guess is the best and only form of love. Without trust and understanding, the initial attraction that we assume is love vanishes into thin air. Well said. 🙂

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  3. Young Lady,

    Very well put. So much has been written about love but it is still a feeling which only that person who is in love can understand. In my view love is when you share you life with someone which happens only when you first start respecting, trusting and caring for that person to an extent that you would like to overcome your weak points to adjust.

    Take care

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  4. a lot goes into love… i wish it were as simple as the romantic notions we held as children.. but it isnt. And especially in todays world, with so many fleeting moments for everyone with so many others, its become harder for true selfless love to survive, I feel, without unwanted comparisons… the ‘grass is greener on the other side’ syndrome perhaps.

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  5. I like your perception of what love is. Many a time I tell the young people in my life who are trying to find partners, the person who loves you is not necessarily the one who tells you all the time that he does. Watch how this person interacts with you and you will know if there is love or the potential for love. By the same token, if you love someone, show them. Live the love.

    Like

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