Posted in #EndViolence, Flame of Peace, Just Like That from the Justice Lady, Let me breathe atleast now, News, questions, Tears, Uncategorized

Unbridled Emotions: Mardaani 2

About Mardaani 2 (Wikipedia, IMDB)

As the end credits rolled up, I couldn’t contain my tears – I rushed to the wash room and wept – not a tear or two, but a whole barrage of pent up emotions that just flooded out of my eyes. I tried but couldn’t control..

With the recent rape and murder incidents fresh in my mind, this movie hit a very raw spot – perhaps I wouldn’t be wrong if I said that I speak on behalf of all the women in India…  all women who are today, insecure, scared and unsure just because there is no legal recourse or support for crimes against women.

I say this because Nirbhaya’s mother’s tears still haven’t stopped – even 7 years after the incident. Law keeps on circling around endlessly, with no respite – and India, where Goddesses are prayed to, suffers in hands of rapists who continue to violate women while law continues to move on its own pace, denying justice to these women, girls and infant children.

For women who were given justice quickly, we have enquiry committees set up to investigate how and why these beast rapists were killed in an encounter – they have a right to live, right? Oh my my, so right!! Do you know how many cases are pending in India due to understaffed and overworked tribunals?

Economic Survey 2018-19 released in July 2019 expressed concern over huge pendency of cases in Indian courts due to shortage of judges, saying India needs additional 8,521 judges in the next five years to clear the backlog.

Former Chief Justice of India Dipak Misra had raised similar concerns over a year ago when 3.3 crore cases were pending. That figure burgeoned to 3.53 crore on July 1, 2019, with all high courts and lower courts short of 5,535 judges.

Source – News18 (June 2019)

Screenshot 2019-12-23 at 00.22.36

But no, we have staff free for enquiry committees for rare justice administered. Where all of India, all of women folk, all girls and all concerned men folk are celebrating justice for what happened to young veterinarian Dr. Disha’s perpetrators – two of whom have already confessed to being serial killers in Hyderabad, we have our respected Supreme Court, ordering inquiries into the encounter – calling it fake. Fake? I really don’t care. No woman cares. No Indian woman cares – justice was administered. Period.

Do you know how many rapes occurred after that ill-fated night of 27 November, when Dr. Disha was so brutally raped and burnt to death???????

As a woman, I feel helpless,

I see the ill managed government that talks about subjects like, “I don’t care about onions because my family doesn’t care about eating them” or something like that. I see funny and illogical acts being passed in the name of religion and citizenship. I see stupid registers being made for preparing a list of citizens.

I feel helpless, when I see the tears of Nirbhaya’s parents after umpteen court hearings that keep getting dates on pretexts of “rights”. Even in spite of this development – don’t you think it’s too late?

Maybe, just maybe, an Unnao or a Hyderabad could have been prevented had Nirbhaya’s perpetrators been put to death as soon as they were identified?

I feel helpless when I hear the news of Unnao rape victim who loses her dignity, right to live, her father’s life, her uncle’s arrest, the death of her two aunts by “accident” in which a lorry collided with her vehicle as she was headed towards court – until the said accused was convicted on 20 December 2019? Justice – is still a joke. Because.. the trial in the other four cases – framing of the rape survivor’s father in illegal firearms case, his death in judicial custody, a conspiracy of accused with others in the accident case and the separate gang rape case of the survivor by three others – are still going on in the court.

I feel helpless when .. as I write this blog post,

22 Dec 2019: A 16-year old rape victim committed suicide in Madhya Pradesh’s Khargone district after police allegedly refused to register her complaint

22 Dec 2019: 23-year-old rape victim, who set herself on fire outside the office of Superintendent of Police (SP) in Unnao, India on December 16, has died in a Kanpur hospital.

17 Dec 2019: Muzaffarpur woman, set on fire for resisting rape, dies in hospital

14 Dec 2019: 18 year old girl raped by her uncle and set ablaze in Fatehpur

4 Dec 2019: Raped her while she was alive, raped her when she was dead: Confession of a rapist and murderer on camera

I think I can’t go on.. no, I can’t. Since that ill fated night, I had read multiple reports on Inshorts of rape of women and girls as young as 4 years old, and although I meant to add those in this blog post – I realize, I just can NOT.

I feel helpless.

I feel helpless when Nirbhaya’s rapist says, a girl is far more responsible for a rape than a boy.

I feel helpless.. when the defence lawyer for the rapists says, “You are talking about man and woman as friends. Sorry, that doesn’t have any place in our society. A woman means I immediately put the sex in his eyes.”

I feel helpless.

For all my sisters who have gone through this ordeal, for those who could survive, for those like Nirbhaya and Disha who couldn’t, for those who venture out each day, with a prayer in their heart, for those who are fighting marital rape each day, for those like my sister who are still struggling for justice because our legal system is warped, for those I know and for those I don’t – all I can do is weep and pray for your safety.

The movie – Mardaani 2 said it all like it is, today. I know for a fact that in Uttarakhand, even till date, men deem women equal to the dust under their shoes – and want her to remain there. I know for a fact that men ogle at women and lust at them at every nook and corner and women can’t do anything about it. I felt deeply unsatisfied with the ending of the movie – how do you equate the brutality of a sadist convoluted rapist with a few hits of a belt? No – even castration isn’t enough.

As a woman, I am scared to give birth – what if the baby is a girl? I am scared for the unborn daughter I might have. I am scared for every little girl I see around me – I want to wrap her up in my arms and protect her – but how long and how many can I protect?

It’s a hopeless country, India. And I feel – extremely helpless.

 

 

 

 

Posted in #EndViolence, And she was left only with shattered dreams, Betrayals, Challenges, Flame of Peace, Human Rights, I see eyes that are cold, unfair

Abuses will soon become facts

Disclaimer: Please read with an open mind. Healthy debate is acceptable, feud and disrespect is not.

Girl

Day After day, we keep hearing new stories about men abusing, raping, torturing and killing women in India. The extent of frustration is so high that anything, any damn thing with a vagina works for them. Sensationalizing news has now become routine. That which once was considered shameful, obnoxious and inhuman is today so commonplace that we don’t blink an eyelid anymore.

Every rape gets its share of primetime in news channels and print media and these days, online news sites, for a couple of days and vanishes into the throes of dark oblivion.

Every single scream curdles my blood. How do i hear it? Can’t you?

Can’t you hear the screams emerging from the depths of these news stories? How can you not hear them?

A goat? A g.o.a.t?

How in God’s name can the beast hurt a goat like that?

There has to be a line drawn somewhere. Somewhere, by somebody. Law died a shameful death the day Vishakha died. Government never did have a conscience anyways… Neither this one, nor the erstwhile one.

My concern is not that a goat lost her life too. My concern is that it doesn’t matter who it is, Vishakha, Asifa, the numerous infants put to brutal deaths after being “had”, it just doesn’t matter who it is.

IT DOESN’T MATTER TO THEM.

They will push stuff for pleasure into anything and everything. One day will come when the MCs and BCs will no more be called abuses.

The way we are headed, it’s only gloom for the female community in India. As long as lawyers defend perpetrators, we are headed for the gallows.

As long as juveniles get away with adult-like crimes citing their age, we are headed for the gallows.

As long as we don’t legalize prostitution, men will keep forcing themselves on women and robbing them of their modesty.

Prostitution was illegalized by prejudiced minds that couldn’t see dignity in consensual sex. By minds who had no idea that this would unleash horny savage beasts on the roads, in buses, in temples and animal shelters, with uncontrollably raging hormones that will destroy everything to bits, and kill their prey so that there is no voice against them.

Recently, Sonu Nigam came out in the open and put forth his PoV that prostitution should be legalized and there should be compulsory sex education in schools. I finally found a reason to respect him!!

I seriously believe that is part answer to this problem. India has mostly been a conservative country and people are still living in old age days, where women are forced to cover their faces, where honor killing still exists and women are looked upon as submissive creatures in a patriarchic society.

Looking down upon prostitution is sadly a very orthodox way of deeming it an undignified profession. Why? Why can’t we change our mindsets and see it as a profession which involves a great deal of hard work and give it the dignity it deserves? Trafficking is crime – prostitution is just another job.

I am aware of the sensitivity of this subject – however, someone needs to raise a voice. Someone needs to start talking somewhere.

How will these rapes end?

Posted in Flame of Peace, God, Philosophy, Tears, Time, Uncategorized, wisdom

Dear Grandpa

I miss you.

You had set the foundation for our comfortable life, having come here with nothing and building everything from the scratch.

I remember how I used to play with your hair as a little child. You were so possessive with your hair and yet, whenever I felt like, I would get so many rubber bands and make little ponytails all over. You would check yourself in the small hand-held mirror and laugh.

I remember you started giving me pocket money every month when I turned 13. 200 rupees. I used to spend it in Archies – and would look forward to the next month.

I remember  how you were concerned about my health and that I am too skinny. I used to tease you by showing my non-existent biceps and you would burst out in laughter.

I remember how you would bring cartons of Goldspot and ThumsUp because we all loved them. You would also bring Cadbury’s Crackle, Dairy Milk and Fruit & Nut – again, cartons with 10 pieces so that we could eat them to our heart’s content!!

When I ventured out, you would be so concerned and would ask my mum how I am doing, whether I am eating well or not. You were so proud of me when I told you my salary and you just smiled from ear to ear.

When I came home two weeks back, seeing you in the condition that you were, brought me down to tears. I couldn’t resist sitting by your side and caressing your head. You caught hold of my hand tightly, as if to say, thank you – don’t go. When you refused to eat food, I coaxed you into opening your mouth so that I could push the food in. You had given up on life. I had to force water down your throat as you opened your lips a bit – you weren’t even ready to drink water!!

I ran to my dad and cried and cried – asking him if something could be done, but he said, no beta, this is life. He will get more harassed if we shift him to the hospital. Wistfully, I left for my job that Monday, and by Saturday, you were gone.

I got the phone call from dad while I was in a meeting Saturday early morning. I rushed home and cried and cried, thinking and thanking for coming home the previous week. I booked my tickets and when I reached home, seeing you, lying so peacefully inside the ice box, with an angelic smile on your face, broke my heart. You looked as radiant as alive. I wanted to touch you – but everyone had to come. Your last rites broke my heart again. As I bid farewell, I prayed that you would always watch over us, and forgive us for anything that we would have not been able to fulfill.

Daddy (as we call you), I love you, I miss you.

I am sad that you are no more, but grateful too, that your suffering has ended.

Stay with us in our memories and be there, our guardian angel.

 

Posted in #life, Causes, Flame of Peace, Food for Thought, Human Rights, Inspiration, Just Like That from the Justice Lady, lessons, Love, Philosophy, Spirituality, Uncategorized, wisdom

In my World

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In my world,

there is no sorrow

there is no depression

there is no anxiety

there is no crime

there is no violence

there is no hunger

there is no betrayal

there is no politics

In my world,

there is only love.

Brought by benign souls

Promoted by kind angels

They share their excess with kindness

They accept from others with humility.

And they maintain a balance.

Tell me you are one of them.

Tell me.

Because I know, that I am.

But my world needs you to become perfect.

My world needs change to become what I define it to be.

My world.

Born free. Free to choose.

Live and Help Live.

Posted in Betrayals, Flame of Peace, Hechicera, Uncategorized

Secrets

Sometimes, I still wonder.

I did move on.

But I still want to know the secrets.

Why were they kept away from me?

Maybe I want to see repentance.

Maybe I want to close the loop.

Today, I am strong.

And balanced too.

I feel sad – that I can’t see anyone in trouble.

Foolish me, I keep dreaming of her – why?

Foolish me, I keep thinking he will apologise. Why?

Foolish me, I wonder what happened – why?

Foolish me, I feel sad about his depression – is it bipolar? is it schizophrenia?

I don’t know. Maybe I shouldn’t know. Maybe I should.

It’s gone. All gone. Gone. Gone. Gone.

Peace.

Posted in #life, Betrayals, Flame of Peace, Food for Thought, lessons, Love, Philosophy, questions, Relationships, Time

In a moment of time

You meet a stranger,

He’s no more a stranger – in a moment of time

You form an impression,

Your past experience prompts that impression – in a moment of  time

You expect all to be good

That’s because you see all as you are – in a moment of time

Life is created with a union, in a moment of time.

Life ends – in a moment of time

Why then, can’t we forgive?

Why then, do we hold grudges for eternity?

 

Posted in Causes, Challenges, Flame of Peace, Food for Thought, Human Rights, Inspiration, Just Like That from the Justice Lady, lady, Philosophy, Uncategorized, wisdom

Truly Befikre

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‘Befikre’ is a Hindi word meaning ‘Carefree’.

When I watched this movie, I was really impressed by the story line and the way the romance bloomed between the key protagonists despite all resistance to love.

An absolutely fresh movie, the story revolves under a couple in a live-in relationship who decide to break up. After their break up, they become thick friends. However, both share the ideology that love does not exist. As the lady decided to marry a supposedly “tall, fair, handsome rich” guy after discussing with the lead, both of them realize that they are in love. Everything else ensues, but I did not like the ending, which was turned into a humorous confusion ending with the lead couple just running away from the chaotic scene. The movie also touches hearts with its absolutely fresh and melodious songs with liberal use of French. I didn’t know French is such a beautiful language until I saw this movie. (Maybe I will learn French some day). My personal favorite songs are Je T’aime, Labon ka Karobar and You and Me.

I decided to write about this movie because some moments in the movie touched my heart. There is one scene where the lead heroine is upset with the hero and turns and walks away from him. That is an amazingly acted out scene, as the way she walks away, her head high, her steps confident, is outstanding. It’s a rarity, especially in the Indian society, where that kind of self-assuredness and headstrong attitude is seen as a negative trait, and women are mostly expected to be submissive and meek.

For me, a confident lady is the epitome of the ‘perfect’ woman.

She may belong to any walk of life, but she is to be celebrated for the sheer determination that she displays in leading a respectful life.

She is the successful lady that sits in the cabin and runs her business.

She is the lady in the white suit inside the VP Cabin, devising a strategy for her company.

She is the lady who sits in the cubicle, churning out thousands of lines of code to complete a client project.

She is the lady with dignity who is the pioneer of the small weaving industry in her village.

She is the lady who topped her IAS examination and is now making a huge difference in others’ lives.

She is the lady who plays the roles of a police officer, a sexy siren and a dumb babe with the same degree of poise.

She is the lady who chooses to stay with her partner without worrying about society rules – how does a marriage certificate stop a couple from tearing the relationship apart, and how does the absence of a marriage certificate stop a couple from leading a life of together forever?

She is the lady who expertly counsels individuals and couples with no inhibitions on any issue, and no judgments whatsoever.

She is the lady who decides to walk out of a relationship that’s marred by abuse.

She is the lady who says no to emotional manipulation.

She is the lady who starts life afresh after being ‘abandoned’ by her husband.

She is the lady who paints her heart out and wins accolades in her first art exhibition.

She is the lady that left a high paying job abroad to help poor and abandoned children lead a respectful life by training them on vocational courses.

She is the lady who….  need I say more?

These women are truly ‘befikre’ and I salute them. Do you?

Who is your She?

Posted in #life, Flame of Peace, Food for Thought, God, happiness, Inspiration, lady, lessons, Philosophy, Relationships, Spirituality, wisdom

Note to self…

An almost burnt-down lit candle on a candle ho...
SPENT… (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Get up, dust yourself and move on.

Two years back, I requested my masi to read out a vachan from the Guru Granth Sahib that she has at her home.

That post was titled “Saying Goodbye“. The time I wrote that post was also one of the most turbulent times I had gone through and I believed that the worst was over.

Quoting myself from that post,

Why is this post titled ‘Saying Goodbye?’ I am saying Goodbye to my old self.
Welcome change! I accept you with open arms. God is there with me.

I can share His plans with you. In hindsight, this is the vachan He gave me:

“Raam naam man deep dhar, jeeyan dehri dwaar.
Tulsi bheetar bahar, Je chahyes ujiyaar
Raam naam ur ur mein gahiyo, jaake sam nahin koye
Jeeya Simrat sankat mite darsh tuharo hoye.”

Meaning: “Be the candle at the doorstep of your home, that spreads light inside your home and into the world outside.”

THAT was meant to be my role. I shared with my mentor, that I took a very big decision in my life after this vachan. My Godfather my mentor and someone who I love deeply told me very sweetly, that my dear, it is so very clear that your role was to be the candle in someone’s life for a while. While you were doing that, you were also lighting your own self. But my dear, please remember that the candle has to burn itself out one day. It melts down to nothing and then, its role is over.

You have been that candle in someone’s life – perhaps in many lives that you believe benefitted by your being in some way. Your role is over. Pick up the pieces and move on, for you are made for better things in life. Your role as a candle was a part of your true calling. Keep working on it.

And his wife says, Punam, what is yours will never go. If it did, it was never yours.

To my mentor: I enjoyed being that candle. Although it burned me out, I shall cherish the pain too. I am not afraid of lighting myself all over again.

I leave you all with these pictures….  and a final thought:

People change, memories don’t. People can only add to you. Nothing is ever lost.

Dedicated to my mentors who have me wrapped in angel wings: Sampath ji and Beena ji
Dedicated to my mentors who have me wrapped in angel wings: Sampath ji and Beena ji
Love yourself. Period. Everything else will fall in place.
Love yourself. Period. Everything else will fall in place.
Posted in #life, Flame of Peace, Food for Thought, happiness, lady, Relationships, romance, Verses n Rhymes, wisdom, wishes

The storm kept brewing

Hell!! A woman scorched…

Fury!! In those eyes, blood-shot

Despair!! The lost smile

Grief!! The shattering sound of trust

Dismay!! In denial

Tears!! Just don’t stop

Maddening!! That cocky smile

Disbelief!! Oh no, NOT again!!

Sighsss!! Giving up

Palms up!! Hands outstretched

Godd!! Call upon me

Life!! Not anymore

Memories!! GO away!

No!! This can’t be true.

God!! Not againnnnnnn

You can’t do this to me, no way.

Can we give the woman some independence please?

 

There is a small population of women who are fortunate to see a life that is not bound by umpteen ropes and shackles. But for the rest, life for her, is like this:

1. Superstitions that make her “do things” based on which, she will supposedly get a “good partner”.

2. Myths, and stigma that objectify her and strangulate her in robes because she is a commodity that should always be covered…

3. Strange customs that she is made to follow so that “other people” can live a comfortable life.

4. Patriarchs stopping her from getting her share of education because she is a woman – HER being itself being a crime.

5. Expectations that make her “bear” stuff because women are supposed to “bear” and “bear” and “not say a word.”

6. Submission to one and all, all and sundry.

7. Squash her dreams because she is not allowed to dream.

8. Always everyone else’s wishes before hers.

9. Her self-respect stays last.

and I can keep continuing…

But my only question is,

when will SHE be truly free?

Will she ever be allowed to take her own decisions, for her happiness?

Will she ever be asked, “What does your heart desire? Let us do that today.”

Will she ever be told, “For you. You want it that way. So be it.”

 

 

Posted in #life, Fantasy, Fiction, Flame of Peace, Food for Thought, happiness, lady, lessons, Love, Tears, Time, Verses n Rhymes, wisdom

Blues and Blacks

I’ve tasted blue. I’ve also tasted black.
Life can’t be so mean.
The mirror manages to look so clean.
Who is that in the image that I see?
I am beyond recognition now.

Listless eyes staring back at my own image
And a thousand unanswered questions on a rampage
A lot of whys interspersed with screaming No’s
Who is to blame for life’s unfair gallows?
My reflection manages to swindle me
Because it no longer knows! “Who’s she?”

Slowly ever so steadily, she sees a silhouette behind her image
The face is unclear.. very very hazy, like someone’s hiding behind smoke.
But the figure has deep dark eyes, penetrating gaze…
From behind my image, I see those eyes

And slowly, my own reflection starts dwindling…
As if moving backward towards the smoky haze
Slowly, steadily, as time ticks on, second by micro second,
The image .. the me I see, is moving away.

And as the twain meet, in the mirror, another world,
the blues and blacks turn into a myriad of rainbow colours.
And I stand there, perplexed, confused, Who’s she??
Pat comes the answer from deep inside me, “It’s ME!!!”

Bliss!! Oh bliss, can it be true?
Blacks are not any more blue
What has changed? What happened?
Was it a raid? Was it a heist?

I’ve tasted blue. I’ve also tasted black.
No wonder what went wrong..
Did something go wrong?
Maybe the wrong suddenly went right.

Life can be very mean
But that’s only to teach you what is mean.
Darkness makes the light shine
And stars fall down right upon mine.