In my World

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In my world,

there is no sorrow

there is no depression

there is no anxiety

there is no crime

there is no violence

there is no hunger

there is no betrayal

there is no politics

In my world,

there is only love.

Brought by benign souls

Promoted by kind angels

They share their excess with kindness

They accept from others with humility.

And they maintain a balance.

Tell me you are one of them.

Tell me.

Because I know, that I am.

But my world needs you to become perfect.

My world needs change to become what I define it to be.

My world.

Born free. Free to choose.

Live and Help Live.

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Secrets

Sometimes, I still wonder.

I did move on.

But I still want to know the secrets.

Why were they kept away from me?

Maybe I want to see repentance.

Maybe I want to close the loop.

Today, I am strong.

And balanced too.

I feel sad – that I can’t see anyone in trouble.

Foolish me, I keep dreaming of her – why?

Foolish me, I keep thinking he will apologise. Why?

Foolish me, I wonder what happened – why?

Foolish me, I feel sad about his depression – is it bipolar? is it schizophrenia?

I don’t know. Maybe I shouldn’t know. Maybe I should.

It’s gone. All gone. Gone. Gone. Gone.

Peace.

In a moment of time

You meet a stranger,

He’s no more a stranger – in a moment of time

You form an impression,

Your past experience prompts that impression – in a moment of  time

You expect all to be good

That’s because you see all as you are – in a moment of time

Life is created with a union, in a moment of time.

Life ends – in a moment of time

Why then, can’t we forgive?

Why then, do we hold grudges for eternity?

 

Truly Befikre

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‘Befikre’ is a Hindi word meaning ‘Carefree’.

When I watched this movie, I was really impressed by the story line and the way the romance bloomed between the key protagonists despite all resistance to love.

An absolutely fresh movie, the story revolves under a couple in a live-in relationship who decide to break up. After their break up, they become thick friends. However, both share the ideology that love does not exist. As the lady decided to marry a supposedly “tall, fair, handsome rich” guy after discussing with the lead, both of them realize that they are in love. Everything else ensues, but I did not like the ending, which was turned into a humorous confusion ending with the lead couple just running away from the chaotic scene. The movie also touches hearts with its absolutely fresh and melodious songs with liberal use of French. I didn’t know French is such a beautiful language until I saw this movie. (Maybe I will learn French some day). My personal favorite songs are Je T’aime, Labon ka Karobar and You and Me.

I decided to write about this movie because some moments in the movie touched my heart. There is one scene where the lead heroine is upset with the hero and turns and walks away from him. That is an amazingly acted out scene, as the way she walks away, her head high, her steps confident, is outstanding. It’s a rarity, especially in the Indian society, where that kind of self-assuredness and headstrong attitude is seen as a negative trait, and women are mostly expected to be submissive and meek.

For me, a confident lady is the epitome of the ‘perfect’ woman.

She may belong to any walk of life, but she is to be celebrated for the sheer determination that she displays in leading a respectful life.

She is the successful lady that sits in the cabin and runs her business.

She is the lady in the white suit inside the VP Cabin, devising a strategy for her company.

She is the lady who sits in the cubicle, churning out thousands of lines of code to complete a client project.

She is the lady with dignity who is the pioneer of the small weaving industry in her village.

She is the lady who topped her IAS examination and is now making a huge difference in others’ lives.

She is the lady who plays the roles of a police officer, a sexy siren and a dumb babe with the same degree of poise.

She is the lady who chooses to stay with her partner without worrying about society rules – how does a marriage certificate stop a couple from tearing the relationship apart, and how does the absence of a marriage certificate stop a couple from leading a life of together forever?

She is the lady who expertly counsels individuals and couples with no inhibitions on any issue, and no judgments whatsoever.

She is the lady who decides to walk out of a relationship that’s marred by abuse.

She is the lady who says no to emotional manipulation.

She is the lady who starts life afresh after being ‘abandoned’ by her husband.

She is the lady who paints her heart out and wins accolades in her first art exhibition.

She is the lady that left a high paying job abroad to help poor and abandoned children lead a respectful life by training them on vocational courses.

She is the lady who….  need I say more?

These women are truly ‘befikre’ and I salute them. Do you?

Who is your She?

Note to self…

An almost burnt-down lit candle on a candle ho...

SPENT… (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Get up, dust yourself and move on.

Two years back, I requested my masi to read out a vachan from the Guru Granth Sahib that she has at her home.

That post was titled “Saying Goodbye“. The time I wrote that post was also one of the most turbulent times I had gone through and I believed that the worst was over.

Quoting myself from that post,

Why is this post titled ‘Saying Goodbye?’ I am saying Goodbye to my old self.
Welcome change! I accept you with open arms. God is there with me.

I can share His plans with you. In hindsight, this is the vachan He gave me:

“Raam naam man deep dhar, jeeyan dehri dwaar.
Tulsi bheetar bahar, Je chahyes ujiyaar
Raam naam ur ur mein gahiyo, jaake sam nahin koye
Jeeya Simrat sankat mite darsh tuharo hoye.”

Meaning: “Be the candle at the doorstep of your home, that spreads light inside your home and into the world outside.”

THAT was meant to be my role. I shared with my mentor, that I took a very big decision in my life after this vachan. My Godfather my mentor and someone who I love deeply told me very sweetly, that my dear, it is so very clear that your role was to be the candle in someone’s life for a while. While you were doing that, you were also lighting your own self. But my dear, please remember that the candle has to burn itself out one day. It melts down to nothing and then, its role is over.

You have been that candle in someone’s life – perhaps in many lives that you believe benefitted by your being in some way. Your role is over. Pick up the pieces and move on, for you are made for better things in life. Your role as a candle was a part of your true calling. Keep working on it.

And his wife says, Punam, what is yours will never go. If it did, it was never yours.

To my mentor: I enjoyed being that candle. Although it burned me out, I shall cherish the pain too. I am not afraid of lighting myself all over again.

I leave you all with these pictures….  and a final thought:

People change, memories don’t. People can only add to you. Nothing is ever lost.

Dedicated to my mentors who have me wrapped in angel wings: Sampath ji and Beena ji

Dedicated to my mentors who have me wrapped in angel wings: Sampath ji and Beena ji

Love yourself. Period. Everything else will fall in place.

Love yourself. Period. Everything else will fall in place.

The storm kept brewing

Hell!! A woman scorched…

Fury!! In those eyes, blood-shot

Despair!! The lost smile

Grief!! The shattering sound of trust

Dismay!! In denial

Tears!! Just don’t stop

Maddening!! That cocky smile

Disbelief!! Oh no, NOT again!!

Sighsss!! Giving up

Palms up!! Hands outstretched

Godd!! Call upon me

Life!! Not anymore

Memories!! GO away!

No!! This can’t be true.

God!! Not againnnnnnn

You can’t do this to me, no way.

Can we give the woman some independence please?

 

There is a small population of women who are fortunate to see a life that is not bound by umpteen ropes and shackles. But for the rest, life for her, is like this:

1. Superstitions that make her “do things” based on which, she will supposedly get a “good partner”.

2. Myths, and stigma that objectify her and strangulate her in robes because she is a commodity that should always be covered…

3. Strange customs that she is made to follow so that “other people” can live a comfortable life.

4. Patriarchs stopping her from getting her share of education because she is a woman – HER being itself being a crime.

5. Expectations that make her “bear” stuff because women are supposed to “bear” and “bear” and “not say a word.”

6. Submission to one and all, all and sundry.

7. Squash her dreams because she is not allowed to dream.

8. Always everyone else’s wishes before hers.

9. Her self-respect stays last.

and I can keep continuing…

But my only question is,

when will SHE be truly free?

Will she ever be allowed to take her own decisions, for her happiness?

Will she ever be asked, “What does your heart desire? Let us do that today.”

Will she ever be told, “For you. You want it that way. So be it.”

 

 

Blues and Blacks

I’ve tasted blue. I’ve also tasted black.
Life can’t be so mean.
The mirror manages to look so clean.
Who is that in the image that I see?
I am beyond recognition now.

Listless eyes staring back at my own image
And a thousand unanswered questions on a rampage
A lot of whys interspersed with screaming No’s
Who is to blame for life’s unfair gallows?
My reflection manages to swindle me
Because it no longer knows! “Who’s she?”

Slowly ever so steadily, she sees a silhouette behind her image
The face is unclear.. very very hazy, like someone’s hiding behind smoke.
But the figure has deep dark eyes, penetrating gaze…
From behind my image, I see those eyes

And slowly, my own reflection starts dwindling…
As if moving backward towards the smoky haze
Slowly, steadily, as time ticks on, second by micro second,
The image .. the me I see, is moving away.

And as the twain meet, in the mirror, another world,
the blues and blacks turn into a myriad of rainbow colours.
And I stand there, perplexed, confused, Who’s she??
Pat comes the answer from deep inside me, “It’s ME!!!”

Bliss!! Oh bliss, can it be true?
Blacks are not any more blue
What has changed? What happened?
Was it a raid? Was it a heist?

I’ve tasted blue. I’ve also tasted black.
No wonder what went wrong..
Did something go wrong?
Maybe the wrong suddenly went right.

Life can be very mean
But that’s only to teach you what is mean.
Darkness makes the light shine
And stars fall down right upon mine.