Posted in Flame of Peace, God, Philosophy, Tears, Time, Uncategorized, wisdom

Dear Grandpa

I miss you.

You had set the foundation for our comfortable life, having come here with nothing and building everything from the scratch.

I remember how I used to play with your hair as a little child. You were so possessive with your hair and yet, whenever I felt like, I would get so many rubber bands and make little ponytails all over. You would check yourself in the small hand-held mirror and laugh.

I remember you started giving me pocket money every month when I turned 13. 200 rupees. I used to spend it in Archies – and would look forward to the next month.

I remember  how you were concerned about my health and that I am too skinny. I used to tease you by showing my non-existent biceps and you would burst out in laughter.

I remember how you would bring cartons of Goldspot and ThumsUp because we all loved them. You would also bring Cadbury’s Crackle, Dairy Milk and Fruit & Nut – again, cartons with 10 pieces so that we could eat them to our heart’s content!!

When I ventured out, you would be so concerned and would ask my mum how I am doing, whether I am eating well or not. You were so proud of me when I told you my salary and you just smiled from ear to ear.

When I came home two weeks back, seeing you in the condition that you were, brought me down to tears. I couldn’t resist sitting by your side and caressing your head. You caught hold of my hand tightly, as if to say, thank you – don’t go. When you refused to eat food, I coaxed you into opening your mouth so that I could push the food in. You had given up on life. I had to force water down your throat as you opened your lips a bit – you weren’t even ready to drink water!!

I ran to my dad and cried and cried – asking him if something could be done, but he said, no beta, this is life. He will get more harassed if we shift him to the hospital. Wistfully, I left for my job that Monday, and by Saturday, you were gone.

I got the phone call from dad while I was in a meeting Saturday early morning. I rushed home and cried and cried, thinking and thanking for coming home the previous week. I booked my tickets and when I reached home, seeing you, lying so peacefully inside the ice box, with an angelic smile on your face, broke my heart. You looked as radiant as alive. I wanted to touch you – but everyone had to come. Your last rites broke my heart again. As I bid farewell, I prayed that you would always watch over us, and forgive us for anything that we would have not been able to fulfill.

Daddy (as we call you), I love you, I miss you.

I am sad that you are no more, but grateful too, that your suffering has ended.

Stay with us in our memories and be there, our guardian angel.


Posted in #life, Fantasy, Fiction, God, happiness, Inspiration, lessons, My Art, Paintings, Philosophy, romance, Spirituality, Time, wisdom

The sky as it is in a fantasy – but this is reality

* Repost for my all-new audience, do check out the comments before each picture. 🙂

In one of my recent trips, I took these pictures again.. yes sky pictures.. somehow, these can never cease to bore me. I am so so sooo fascinated by the sky, especially when I am travelling.

These pictures have come out exceptional, especially the one which has the sun’s rays .. looks divine.

Do let me know if you all think so too. 🙂

Wanna play stepping stones? Notice the rays of the sun on the top left corner?

Emotion: Calm

Annndd.. the plane tilted. 🙂

Emotion: Amusing

Doesn’t this look divine? Like the sun has just opened its armssss wideee.. !!

Emotion: Conflict

A Secret Kingdom lies beyond …

Emotion: Peace

Sky or Ocean Waves??? SKYY definitely!!! Yes, really!!

Emotion: Torment, kashmakash

Posted in #life, Flame of Peace, Food for Thought, God, happiness, Inspiration, lady, lessons, Philosophy, Relationships, Spirituality, wisdom

Note to self…

An almost burnt-down lit candle on a candle ho...
SPENT… (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Get up, dust yourself and move on.

Two years back, I requested my masi to read out a vachan from the Guru Granth Sahib that she has at her home.

That post was titled “Saying Goodbye“. The time I wrote that post was also one of the most turbulent times I had gone through and I believed that the worst was over.

Quoting myself from that post,

Why is this post titled ‘Saying Goodbye?’ I am saying Goodbye to my old self.
Welcome change! I accept you with open arms. God is there with me.

I can share His plans with you. In hindsight, this is the vachan He gave me:

“Raam naam man deep dhar, jeeyan dehri dwaar.
Tulsi bheetar bahar, Je chahyes ujiyaar
Raam naam ur ur mein gahiyo, jaake sam nahin koye
Jeeya Simrat sankat mite darsh tuharo hoye.”

Meaning: “Be the candle at the doorstep of your home, that spreads light inside your home and into the world outside.”

THAT was meant to be my role. I shared with my mentor, that I took a very big decision in my life after this vachan. My Godfather my mentor and someone who I love deeply told me very sweetly, that my dear, it is so very clear that your role was to be the candle in someone’s life for a while. While you were doing that, you were also lighting your own self. But my dear, please remember that the candle has to burn itself out one day. It melts down to nothing and then, its role is over.

You have been that candle in someone’s life – perhaps in many lives that you believe benefitted by your being in some way. Your role is over. Pick up the pieces and move on, for you are made for better things in life. Your role as a candle was a part of your true calling. Keep working on it.

And his wife says, Punam, what is yours will never go. If it did, it was never yours.

To my mentor: I enjoyed being that candle. Although it burned me out, I shall cherish the pain too. I am not afraid of lighting myself all over again.

I leave you all with these pictures….  and a final thought:

People change, memories don’t. People can only add to you. Nothing is ever lost.

Dedicated to my mentors who have me wrapped in angel wings: Sampath ji and Beena ji
Dedicated to my mentors who have me wrapped in angel wings: Sampath ji and Beena ji
Love yourself. Period. Everything else will fall in place.
Love yourself. Period. Everything else will fall in place.
Posted in #life, Food for Thought, God, happiness, Inspiration, lessons, Paulo Coelho, questions, wisdom

Taking a stand – a firm one

Respect comes when earned. Something that is given away freely has no value. We all are like that – human tendency, to hoard anything and everything, moreso, when it costs nothing applies to both materialistic things as well as non-monetary elements such as respect. But then, what is respect when not earned? A free perk. Which nullifies it to zero value.

One may behave in the rudest possible way and treat everyone like crap – but fact remains that respect that is being received through induced fear and coercing, will not stay for long, and is not of much use either. Office grapevine, community gossips, and friendly encounters will all offer opportunities where a person’s respect is challenged and often brutally murdered. That is the time when what you have stood for in life, speaks for you and ensures that there are people who vouch for you while others pull you down. It’s a circle and comes full swing. (Not that it should bother you by any way, for someone who thinks too much of ‘what others think of me’ will only always do what others expect him to do, and not what he thinks is right.)

And then comes self-respect. Unless you have some, do not expect anyone else to respect you. Without self-respect, there is no respect. Someone told me yesterday, “You are strong in actions, but weak in words.” Struck me heavily. I try to be strong. But my words fail me, because I perhaps do a big deal about weakness. I am strong but I perceive myself to be weak.

And then the signs. God is speaking to you everyday. In novel ways. Paulo Coelho says, “Read the signs. They are everywhere.”

I lost an expensive pair of my spectacles yesterday. They are expensive – gifted by a good friend. It was right there where we started looking for, but we went looking for it everywhere. Finally, I found it exactly where I had discovered that I had lost it. But then, this turned out to be a sign. Because while I ventured out searching for it, I exclaimed, “I usually find the things I lose. There is something inside me, that is so strong that I eventually find what I lose.” And then it struck to me. I am strong. It is me. It has to be me. God has gifted me the ability and the strength. I need to believe in it. I am not giving up. Too many people depend on me.

I am looking for a solution everywhere – running helter skelter, but maybe just maybe, the solution is right there, in front of my eyes, and I am missing it. Maybe God wants to tell me that it is right there inside me.. and I will have to come back to square one, to receive salvation. Like I went everywhere searching for my lost specs, only to find it at the place where I said, “Where are my spec? I lost them!” – just like that, maybe it is what applies to my life too.. where in I have been knocking doors from pillar to post, and yet, I am still searching. The realisation is big. It happened yesterday. I am trying to read the signs. And I believe. I b.e.l.i.e.v.e. Period.

Posted in #life, Chicken Soup for the Indian Bride's Soul, Food for Thought, God, lady, lessons, Tears, wisdom

This jinxed being called ‘GIRL’

It’s navratri – the nine days that we INDIANS celebrate to glorify the 9 forms of the Indian goddess Durga. Wake up, people… STOP worshipping female idols when you are so ruthlessly troubling the girl child. Wake up, people, for if you can not respect the women around you, what use is decorating the female idol with jewels and shiny clothes? Wake up, people, for if you can not protect your girl child, you have no right to worship the goddesses that represent the female form.

From here

When a girl is born, she is labelled jinxed. Even though they say, Lakshmi has come into the home, yet they do not treat her as Lakshmi… well, the girl does not say that you treat me like Goddess – all she says, is treat me like a human being – that’s all.

Why is it expected of girls to be sehensheel (strong, able to bear anything), patient and calm? No matter how many travails she passes through, nothing moves people – no suffering is great for a girl because she is expected to suffer. No pain is big for her because hundreds of girls and women around her are going through worse pain.

Whenever something bad happens to a girl, she is first taught to “adjust”. WHY? Why should she adjust? Does she have no rights to being happy? Does she have no rights to a PEACEFUL life? Does she have no dreams and should she not live a NORMAL life? WHY is she asked to adjust in derogatory surroundings where 90% of the day is filled up with suffering and 10% with a disturbed sleep? Where is she going wrong? What has she done to have been out through so much suffering?

From here

It is strange how people just dismiss the mental suffering that a girl goes through. The torture of MIL and SIL may not be visible on her body, yet the DIL is told, it is very common and it is nothing to worry about. Tell me, is it fair for any outsider to imagine what the girl is going through? Is it fair for anyone to judge the intensity of her suffering??? A needle might be very small pain, but if a needle keeps piercing at the same wound again and again and again, daily every night every hour, the wound turns into a big harmful painful suffering. Don’t people see that this is how it is?

Whenever a girl suffers and calls for help, the very first thing people around her do, is to make her understand that they themselves have gone through similar suffering, and what she is going through is NOTHING… WHAT as human beings, are we doing??? How is it fair to compare one girl’s suffering with another girl??? By denying her calls for help and by demeaning her problems, how do we expect to help? So I may have gone through similar pain – so should I want her to go through it too? Because I chose to, and I could deal with it, should I expect her to go through the same??? What is my guarantee that her pain is not greater than mine? What is my guarantee that she is stronger than I am? Am I being fair to her by pushing her to the edge, because I THINK what she is going through is nothing???

Am I not being an insensitive person when I negate her suffering and try to cover it up with useless words like it’s going to be fine.. it’s going to be okay??? HEY maybe I should use some common sense and see that things can be okay when the person giving the suffering is okay. Sadists and animals can not be okay – can not make a life okay. We are living in a world that is filled more with cheaters and sadists who can drop down to any levels to get away with their quirks and mean intentions. This is no place for an innocent girl to be. This is a big bad world where every other person is a WOLF waiting to pounce on a girl. This is a big bad world where LIES are made to be truth and where wolves walk in sheep’s clothing, to prey upon undoubting innocent people.

A man being angry is okay – because all men get angry. A man losing control is okay because all men do that. A man beating his wife is okay because it happens in most marriages?? WHY?

My questions are – How much suffering is “too much”? How much suffering should a girl put up with? How much pain is “unbearable”? How does a girl express her pain when it is not validated by physical marks? What are the benchmarks that the civilised world uses to validate mental torture?

Why doesn’t the world let a GIRL live? Just live?

This post is inspired by the following two posts I read at Shail’s and Ritu’s blogs:

Posted in #life, Fantasy, God, happiness, lady, lessons, Love, love msgs, Paulo Coelho, Philosophy, Relationships, romance, Verses n Rhymes, wisdom

Diaries of the Hechicera: The love she knew and the love that grew

His face was not very clear

There was dream upon dream

She waited eternally for him to appear

But her dream was still a dream

“O! Please please come soon, dear

Come and take over my life

I want to see you, touch and hear!

The stories of your life and strife.”

She would beckon in her dream

To that hazy not-so-clear face

And imagine him standing close to her

Real close, like a miracle on a good day.

The love she finally knew

Was ugly and wild, for all that she grew

Her hopes, aspirations, all the anticipation,

Everything lost, evaporated like summer dew.

Little did she know that this was not to be

For there in time, waiting, was someone worthy

She knew not, the test of her lord,

She was being groomed to become adored

She imagined her life, disintegrating, bit by bit

Her fate was, in truth, being sealed in the right orbit.

As she moved and stumbled and cried,

She wondered where her inner peace lied

She kept wandering, her senses, askew

When she finally found her Guru.

Once that happened, the miracles showed

She realized, they were always there

She could not see them in tears of strife

But her life was being set so so right.

Her path her destiny took her to the love

The love she knew then, was a hallucination cove.

She thought she had seen it all

But the truth struck her with his arrival.

There he came, her Knight in shining armour

His arrival was so calm, absolutely a wonder

A messenger brought him to her, a sweet messenger

But once he was there, there was to be no other.

He came, bruised and battered, soul searching

Found solace in her suffering and healing.

She gave him what he missed, he gave her love

He gave her what she missed, she gave him trust.

Had their fates been sealed earlier? One does wonder.

But destinies can not be rewritten. Truth is stronger.

When the universe decides to give the love u knew

Is there anything else that you wish to do?

You start believing that it is a circle

Life falls into its destined oracle

Why do you think it was over then?

Because, it’s not over yet.

There was another story in the offing

And you had to free your self soon

The story had someone and you starring

So there had to be a big change

How would you welcome the Knight in your life

If the ugly part did not come to an end?

And so.. the story went

The Love she knew, was the love that grew

The love he wanted was the love she gave

And they lived, happily ever after.

And they lived, happily ever after.