Gift-wrapped, complete with a bow. Pun intended.
You’re allowed to leave any story you don’t find yourself in. You’re allowed to leave any story you don’t love yourself in.
You’re allowed to leave a city that has dimmed your light instead of making you shine brighter, you’re allowed to pack all your bags and start over somewhere else and you’re allowed to redefine the meaning of your life.
You’re allowed to quit the job you hate even if the world tells you not to and you’re allowed to search for something that makes you look forward to tomorrow and to the rest of your life.
You’re allowed to leave someone you love if they’re treating you poorly, you’re allowed to put yourself first if you’re settling and you’re allowed to walk away when you’ve tried over and over again but nothing has changed.
You’re allowed to let toxic friends go, you’re allowed to surround yourself with love, and people who encourage and nurture you. You’re allowed to pick the kind of energy you need in your life.
You’re allowed to forgive yourself for your biggest and smallest mistakes and you’re allowed to be kind to yourself, you’re allowed to look in the mirror and actually like the person you see.
You’re allowed to set yourself free from your own expectations.
We sometimes look at leaving as a bad thing or associate it with giving up or quitting, but sometimes leaving is the best thing you can do for yourself.
Leaving allows you to change directions, to start over, to rediscover yourself and the world. Leaving sometimes saves you from staying stuck in the wrong place with the wrong people.
Leaving opens a new door for change, growth, opportunities and redemption.
You always have the choice to leave until you find where you belong and what makes you happy.
You’re even allowed to leave the old you behind and reinvent yourself.
Author: Rania Naim
As the rain drops trickle down the old glass window,
I stare into what I call ‘that world’, What an epiphany!
To see another world inside a tiny shiny dew drop
I see the petals of the cherry blossom tear away
And fall ever so gently on the snow white ground
The soft and gentle touch – reminds me, so clearly,
Of an emotion – evoked by her hand on my cheek.
A maple leaf just flew past me – I tried to hold it quickly.
They say, if one catches a maple leaf in mid-air,
All wishes shall be granted. So I let my eyelids drop,
Whispering, “God, help me remember her. Who is she?”
Only the tiniest of memories, her scent, scintillating, yet elusive.
The fragrance she wore, the way she smiled, intensely.
Only the tiniest of memories are tormenting me – I need more!
Oh, I need to know, who was she that had encaptured me in her love?
The Oracle lady had but hinted – was it a past life? Or a dream?
Why do I see her hazy silhouette, and skin radiantly glowing?
How can I not have memories, yet have emotions so precise,
How can I hurt so deeply, yet not remember what had pierced?
I sense her…
Fresh as the morning glow,
Deep as the cherry red,
Mystical as the ocean’s depths,
Dark as the empty night.
I sense her…
She holds deep pain inside
She wields soulful eyes
Her voice tries to sing a story
Her hand, outstretched in longing…
I sense her…
Yes, I sense her… she is real.
I don’t know yet – who she is,
or why she visits my dreams
I don’t know yet – why emotions overflow
upon her thoughts – each time.
Yet, I sense her in me.
Deeply in me… unwaveringly real.
She is a mystery, a mystery full of intrigue
She has trapped me in an embrace of eternity.
I sense her.. eternally.
I just almost finished watching the Korean drama ‘The Guardian’ (AKA The Lonely Shining God – Goblin AKA The Goblin) and this verse was inspired by the events in the drama.
Note: I don't own the images and anyone who believes their photograph has been used here, please write to me and I shall connect with you asap.
One look at her and he knew she was a rag doll, a million shards of glass fixed together with something that was hardly visible – what held her together?
SHe intrigued him. He just did not know why he hired her. She was a mess. A clear mess. Deepika. Her eyes told it all – every broken shard shone in her deep eyes – blinding me into shock. What could have happened?
A heart break? He thought? Nope.. doesn’t look like. This is something much more deeper. He did ask her, “Have you ever loved someone?” And she just nodded. That’s it. Something about the way she fluttered her eyes made him feel that she could love deeply. As deep as her teary eyes.
But still, heart break wasn’t really what it seemed like. He had seen enough of life to know how many different faces this being called ‘grief’ wore. She was in grief. Yes. Absolute grief. That’s the right word. Grief.
Deep, dark, lonely, shrouded, NUMB.
A zombie. That’s what she had turned herself into. A zombie that knew only to work. Go back. Sleep. Get up. Come to work. Sleep. Nothing else. She hardly ate – and when she ate, it was tasteless crap, which she’d so sweetly share with me. Grief had turned her so numb that she couldn’t even make out the blandness of food.
WOuld you like to have coffee? Would you like to go out for coffee? I asked again, ensuring that she heard me. She looked up from her laptop. “Huh?? I don’t like coffee.” That’s it. This girl. This 30 something just turned a date into a coffee preference conversation. My Bloody Goodness!! She was either too smart or just too naive. Naive was a tall order – naive doesn’t exist these days. What was she?
All I knew was she worked – like hard labour. Effing hard labour. Tell her anything about the work she did, and she’d turn into this tigress – roaring and defending left right and center.
Something about her told me she could be trusted. Perhaps the mean gossip that went around about her ‘wierdness’ never reached her ears. Or if did, she perhaps didn’t care. Whatever it was, I could sense a flicker of respect for her. Unlike all other women of her age, she was just. A girl. Like a tiny tot that hides behind her mother’s sleeve – except that she hid behind her grief.
And she was determined to not let anyone shake her pieced up million shards up. It would have taken her ages – to pick up the pieces and walk tall again. I suddenly felt another sharp sting in the center of my heart. Protective?? Of course not!! I have seen enough. But the sting kept digging in and in – until it morphed itself into an arrow that pierced to the other side of my heart. I was confused.
It doesn’t really work that way. It doesn’t. But that sting was a growing desire to unbreak her. To peel off that pieced up skin to reveal a bright shining beauty that had retired some 5-6 years ago, I guessed, only to be proven correct later.
Deepika, he thought, somehow, I believe there would always be space for your hand in mine. “Give me your hand”, he said.
The lady doesn’t even turn her head!! She just gives a cross eyed look.
Phewwww. The Board Room fight was easier, I guess!!
Who does he think he is? Absolutely no sense of how to talk to a woman..!!
*back to her article
Do you think this is a paragraph from a Mills & Boon story?
Would you like to give him a name?
*Originally published 9th January 2016
Butterflies in my tummy
From a far far away land of fantasy
For so very long, I truly believed
I had dead butterflies in my tummy
It’s taken too long for me to accept
That there’s no one but me
You know you are taken, taken, taken
So don’t cause butterflies in my tummy
Do you know how it feels
When so many I see in twos
A void begins to fill me up
In every cell through and through
Your intentions may be clear
I know we are friends dear
But the desert but has just one oasis to be
So don’t cause butterflies in my tummy
Oh it’s a great thing to hear
All will be okay when you love yourself dear
But nothing seems okay to me as I think why
Even the moon has the eternal company of the dark sky
Some in twos are craving to be one
Some all alone are wanting to find the one
If perfection were to be a tree
It would be like a cactus thorny
If perfection were to be a movie
It would but be just a tragedy
For the heers and the ranjhaas and the heeras and the pannas
Haven’t they all met with the same destiny
How would I then, be different?
Scarred for life by a narcissist with torment
Lost all my confidence, trust in self and worth
To be rebuilt all over from square one
So your request for a dance momentarily
Caused fluttering butterflies in my tummy
Yes yes I know I deflected it promptly
With words about pen, paper and a story
But hey, then this poem came through eventually
So don’t you cause butterflies in my tummy
A ray of light, they say, is a real hope giver
When in darkness, they say, look for the ray of light
It’s within you, they say, the light’s within you
A single ray of light is enough, they say, just one
When darkness doesn’t perish years of loneliness
The desire to experience one tight hug, just one
The longing to be the one for someone,
That one kiss, that one touch, a caress of passion
And suddenly, there is so much of light,
So much happiness that you feel it’s untrue
But you are so blinded, so blinded by that light
That you couldn’t see the cliff in front of you
It came, the fall that was inevitable
From darkness straight into blinding light
Even the dead see a beautiful shining light, I have heard
Even the dead, even the dead.
Sometimes, I still wonder.
I did move on.
But I still want to know the secrets.
Why were they kept away from me?
Maybe I want to see repentance.
Maybe I want to close the loop.
Today, I am strong.
And balanced too.
I feel sad – that I can’t see anyone in trouble.
Foolish me, I keep dreaming of her – why?
Foolish me, I keep thinking he will apologise. Why?
Foolish me, I wonder what happened – why?
Foolish me, I feel sad about his depression – is it bipolar? is it schizophrenia?
I don’t know. Maybe I shouldn’t know. Maybe I should.
It’s gone. All gone. Gone. Gone. Gone.
Hechicera means Enchantress – one who can put a spell on you with her qualities.
Today, Hechicera reveals herself.
She is the girl next door , the girl of your dreams, the lady in your fantasies.
She is a dreamer, a compulsive dreamer. She is inside you – the person who has always wished for the moon and the stars. She lives in her own world, she has her own language, she sings her own songs…
She has nothing to do with the big bad world. In her little world, there is only love, affection, kindness and gentleness. She does not want to leave her world. She wants to stay there forever. She wants her friends and her love to join her in her world. She wants to keep them away from the big bad world.
Call her Maya. She is Maya – the lady who danced in green fields in the white dress.. her dupatta flowing with the winds… her arms dancing to the enchanting tune… she is your imagination.
She is on a journey towards the Unknown. But she has faith that the Unknown will be where her heart is. She is constantly searching for the elusive someone. She is searching for her heart. She thinks the destination will be the start of another journey. If you follow her, she will crumble away into nothingness. If you try to touch her,she will melt away. If you want her, you can never have her. If you already have her, you can never lose her. She – is Hechicera.
Here’s my question to you, my lovely readers.
Who is YOUR Hechicera? Why is she your Hechicera?
Let us see you answer this one. I would like to know who Maya is for all of you out there reading this fantasy story.
His face was not very clear
There was dream upon dream
She waited eternally for him to appear
But her dream was still a dream
“O! Please please come soon, dear
Come and take over my life
I want to see you, touch and hear!
The stories of your life and strife.”
She would beckon in her dream
To that hazy not-so-clear face
And imagine him standing close to her
Real close, like a miracle on a good day.
The love she finally knew, twice,
Was ugly and wild, for all that she grew
Her hopes, aspirations, all the anticipation,
Everything lost, evaporated like summer dew.
Little did she know that this was not to be
For there in time, waiting, was someone worthy
She knew not, the test of her lord,
She was being groomed to become adored
She imagined her life, disintegrating, bit by bit
Her fate was, in truth, being sealed in the right orbit.
And her life was being set so so right.
Her destiny took her to true love
The love she knew earlier was a hallucination cove.
She thought she had seen it all
But the truth struck her with his arrival.
There he came, her Knight in shining armor, riding the sea waves
His arrival was so calm, absolutely a wonder
He came, bruised and battered, soul searching
Found solace in her suffering and healing.
She gave him what he missed, he gave her love
He gave her what she missed, she gave him trust.
Had their fates been sealed earlier? One does wonder.
When the universe decides to give the love u knew
Is there anything else that you wish to do?
You start believing that it is a circle
Life falls into its destined oracle
Why do you think it was over then?
Because, it’s never over, ever.
There was another story in the offing
The story had someone and you starring
The Love she knew, was the love that grew
The love he deserved was the love she gave
And they lived, happily ever after.
And they lived, happily ever after.
I have been blogging since 2007. My first blog was on a platform called Sulekha.com and that was the time I was exploring blogging and networking online. I found very good friends on Sulekha and I am in touch with them even now.
I named my blog Dreamz Forever, and used to blog under the name Punam. Dreamz Forever gained a lot of popularity. I built it initially on Blogger.com and then shifted it to WordPress for WP is no doubt a better platform. When I was Punam, I was a different person, the typical dreamy girl who was always looking to fly high. I still am, but in a different shade.
Life happened. And I went into hibernate mode for about a year, before resurfacing as A Walk into the Woods. A Walk into the Woods is one of my earlier poems and defines me to the core. I decided to name my new blog this, because it is ingrained in my memory and there was nothing else more important than A Walk into the Woods.
Krishna Verma, whose interview I published on my blog, gave me the name Avyuka. Avyukta means as clear as crystal, and it describes me perfectly. So I adapted it as my name on A Walk, and appended Punam so that my readers who have been there for so many years recognize me.
Each name signifies a personality within me. It is true that you are never today, what you were yesterday. Your today is yesterday plus something you learned yesterday, and you have evolved, even if it is one day or the next moment. Every thought that comes in your mind adds to your personality and if you introspect, you will realize that you are evolving in a way that is defining you as a person.
So, thus was A Walk born, and I can’t believe that I have just crossed 200 followers. I thank all of you for reading me, my rants, hobbies, posts and all.
Now that you know how this blog came about, let me tell you that I got inspired to share this story from TalkaholicMe’s blog.
So, what’s your blog’s story?