What it means being an Empath

I didn’t know that I am an Empath.

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As I move ahead on my spiritual path and discover new things about myself in this journey, I have received a lot of answers to questions that I always had, and to those that I never had either.

I will try my best to share this journey with you, maybe one of you will identify with it, who knows?

  1. Songs affect me in a huge way. I can not bear to listen to some songs (esp from the oldies lot like Kishore Kumar’s) because they make me depressed.
  2. Deja Vu is a common phenomenon with me, because I tend to have the feeling of “I’ve been here before”, or “I’ve seen him/her before” quite often.
  3. Pink skies make me depressed and a bit scared as well.
  4. I am highly highly sensitive and tend to pick up vibes very quickly. (To my deepest chagrin, at work, I am just the opposite..!!!!)
  5. I like/do not like cities or places according to the vibes I get.
  6. I tend to immediately catch the feelings of a person around me if they are sad, depressed or in grief.
  7. I cry a lot… a lot means really a lot. Every emotion results in tears – joy, sorrow, grief, anger, irritation, upset – every damn emotion and the tears flow.
  8. When someone shares their feelings with me, I suffer along with them because those feelings and emotions become me and I become them. This is the worst trait I have.
  9. Hate crowds. Hate empty stores too. Extremes.
  10. These movies disturbed me very badly: Trapped, Life, Alien Covenant – you get the point.
  11. Long conversations, especially with acquaintances tire me out. I can’t sustain long phone conversations either.
  12. Loud noises, loud speakers, screaming people etc. disturb me and drive me to madness. So also, I get startled easily, even by something as small as the ringing of a phone – I jump out of my seat. There have been times when I actually dropped the phone when it started ringing.
  13. I can NOT multitask. Neither physically not mentally. Conversely, I can read two books parallelly – but each a bit at a time, I can switch from reading to painting to crochet to cooking faster than a butterfly switching flowers.
  14. I need time out after social get togethers, not that I go to too many of them.
  15. I have this very strong innate desire to heal others. Like I sometimes wish I had a magic wand to do that.
  16. You can NOT force me to do what I do not want to do. If you force me, I will feel suffocated.
  17. I am always disturbed by injustice. If I see any injustice happening around me, I have to hold the urge to get involved and give a piece of my mind. (My latest anger is directed towards Mr. Modi for coming up with privacy-killing ideas such as compulsory registration of marriages. What will women in our society do? He is so insensitive to women. My second latest is against trolls who want to keep pestering people who have no interest in them.)
  18. Many times, I feel emotions that I have no idea where they have come from. I go down without reason, I am happy without reason… I have no idea what touches me during my course of the day.
  19. You may have hurt me profusely and you may have back-stabbed me, but I will reach out if I know you are in pain. And I beat myself up for it, because it is the most vulnerable thing to do – put yourself up for more pain with people who do not value you.
  20. And of couse, I am drawn to healing modalities. Obviously.

That makes 20 of them.

 

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When nothing inspires

Some days are just like dampness.

You don’t like it and wait for it to dry out completely.

We tend to have such days and during those days, nothing seems to inspire us.

What do I do on such days?

  1. Meditate: I like to listen to guided meditation, especially those that allow for paced breathing and progressive muscle relaxation.
  2. Read: Although my reading has stopped for quite some while, I have days when reading soothes me. I can not read more than 20-30 pages at a time.
  3. Cook: Cooking is a big destressor for me. I forget everything when I cook.
  4. Mobile Game: Some times, you just want to kill time without taxing your brain – without making it “think”. A simple mobile game does the trick!!
  5. Sleeeeeeeeeeep: Nothing beats sleep and I am sure each one of you (except insomniacs) will agree with me.
  6. Watch videos: Funny, inspirational, TED Talks, How To’s, you choose what works for you. How To’s work for me.

What works for you?

Introvertish Peeves

  • No, thank you. I don’t need company.
  • Reply to any question: A—X–Z. I am done. In my mind, it goes “ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ”
  • Have to call someone – I will have a 101 reasons not to call ‘right now’. If I don’t, my clever mind will create 101 reasons. Note, ‘right now’ comes always.
  • Anti-social or pro-solitude
  • Socializing escape reasons: Too cold, too hot, unwell, have to cook, headache, well sometimes, just not interested, thanks. 😛
  • Best excuse: Oh, I don’t want to intrude. *Coy Smile.*
  • Bugging beliefs: Everyone’s around me is perfect, I am not. No one understands me.
  • We love helping out. Except, send us an email. Verbal doesn’t work. Ever.
  • Most of us need TIME to register conversations, and SPACE to privately express emotions over those conversations. Yes, we do have emotions.
  • Proud to be me. But sometimes, do invite me out.
  • There are just too many conversations running in my head to even consider a remote possibility of talking. Yep, we talk inside our heads. And no, we are not crazy.
  • No one can comprehend the joy of coming home!! It’s a Yay moment. And I am always always in a hurry to reach home, so that I can paint/cook/scrub the home/just do nothing.
  • My most hated statement, “Come out of your shell.”
  • When phone calls go beyond 15 minutes, (except of course a select few), I start losing attention and start wanting the conversation to end asap. I am not guilty about it. Sorry.
  • Shopping or window shopping by myself. I like. I like.
  • I always have a lot to say, but can almost never put it into words. If I try, I describe A as Z. God be with people close to me.
  • Arguments cause me great deal of distress because I can find no words to defend myself. All the words are stored in the Mind’s Cloud and come forth after the argument is over. Bleh!

Tears equal helplessness

Why do you cry so much? She asked

I don’t know.

But there must be a reason, right? She persisted.

Do you cry when you are sad?

Yes

Do you cry when you are hurt?

Yes

Do you cry when you are angry?

Yes, i think yes.

OK. Crying is a sign of helplessness. Are you helpless?

No answer

Are you helpless?

No.

Do you think you are so helpless that you can not take action? What could you have done differently, instead of crying?

I have no idea. I just felt so hurt, so dejected that the tears flowed. It was so unfair. It just wasn’t how things are done.

OK. So you felt hurt. But were you helpless? You could have addressed it head on. Right? Maybe you were scared that there would be a confrontation. Maybe you thought you would be blamed of something. Maybe… and there are a hundreds of maybes that I can give you.

End of the day, were you helpless? No. Could you have chosen another way? Yes.

So, next time, before you allow those tears to encroach upon your cheeks, ask yourself, “Am I helpless?” And if the answer is no, just act upon the reason of “No”. 

Female support

So, what’s your New Year plan?

Oh trust me HOW I hate this one!!!

One day, just one day, maybe two years later, I will be able to reply, “I partied all night, got high and enjoyed every moment of it.” 🙂

However, mine was, “Ummm, I spent the night watching a movie.” 🙂 Of course I enjoyed it. No, I wasn’t lonely. No, I definitely wasn’t sad.

But as for now, let me share a few insights into how ALL introverts like to spend their New Years’ eve, or any other eves for that matter:

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Image Credit: Introvert Doodles

Plus, if you want to know me, here’s a simple one, again from Introvert Doodles.

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And, today’s conversation with a colleague was like

“What’s your resolution?”

I said, “Ummm.. I don’t know, maybe try to socialize more?”

“Yeahhh!! You should, you know.”

Yeppp I so do know!

Anyone for a cup of coffee? 😐

 

With that, people of the Blog World, I wish you a happy 2017.

And leave you with my motto,

Live and HELP Live”.

If you can make a difference in someone’s life, and ignore to do it, you miss your chance of coveting a credit. They miss a chance of meeting God in your cloak. Deep, right? Hope you all get it.

OK enough of preaching. 🙂

Take care!!

 

City on a Bike

“See, I am jussst a bit teensy weensy scared of bikes. Please don’t drive fast okay? It’s been a while.”

“Ha ha! Haanji. Got it.”

“So? What do you want to see?”

“You promised Charminar. :)”

“Okay ji. Charminar it is. Will show you Choodi Bazaar as well.”

“And Necklace Road too,” she said.

“Arre wahin se tho pass ho kar jaana hai.”

“OK”.

As they passed the necklace road, he exclaims, “Pehle batana tha na.. aapko poore Hyderabad ki sair karwata. Ab toh aap jaa bhi rahi hain.” (You should have told me before. I would have shown you the whole city. Now you are going away.)

“Well, by now, you would have guessed that it’s difficult for me to ask. And, to trust. I am not very social.”

Took 3 months for me and the time to leave, to comment that I did not sight see Hyderabad this time at all.

Well, that one comment changed everything and brought a very good friend in my life. As the wind breezed through my hair, I felt a sense of freedom that was never felt before. I had ice cream on the moving bike, and saved the empty wrapper in my hand bag (not littering of course), which became a classic jestful memory between us. And this is one person with whom I can speak with no holds barred.

There are very few people I respect in life. Integrity, honesty and a good heart are qualities that I admire. He is one of those few who have these qualities. I cherish and revere such jewels.

My mentor once said, “Every person in your life comes to add value to it.” I deeply believe this and have experienced that. Each one of us will, provided we open ourselves to the knowledge and become aware of the value we are receiving.