Posted in #life, And she was left only with shattered dreams, Betrayals, Challenges, Hechicera, How to take care of ur relationships, Human Rights, Just Like That from the Justice Lady, lessons, Let me breathe atleast now, Mirage in the Mist, Philosophy, wisdom

Right here, right now. Go. Leave. Reinvent.

You’re allowed to leave any story you don’t find yourself in. You’re allowed to leave any story you don’t love yourself in.

You’re allowed to leave a city that has dimmed your light instead of making you shine brighter, you’re allowed to pack all your bags and start over somewhere else and you’re allowed to redefine the meaning of your life.
You’re allowed to quit the job you hate even if the world tells you not to and you’re allowed to search for something that makes you look forward to tomorrow and to the rest of your life.

You’re allowed to leave someone you love if they’re treating you poorly, you’re allowed to put yourself first if you’re settling and you’re allowed to walk away when you’ve tried over and over again but nothing has changed.

You’re allowed to let toxic friends go, you’re allowed to surround yourself with love, and people who encourage and nurture you. You’re allowed to pick the kind of energy you need in your life.

You’re allowed to forgive yourself for your biggest and smallest mistakes and you’re allowed to be kind to yourself, you’re allowed to look in the mirror and actually like the person you see.

You’re allowed to set yourself free from your own expectations.

We sometimes look at leaving as a bad thing or associate it with giving up or quitting, but sometimes leaving is the best thing you can do for yourself.
Leaving allows you to change directions, to start over, to rediscover yourself and the world. Leaving sometimes saves you from staying stuck in the wrong place with the wrong people.

Leaving opens a new door for change, growth, opportunities and redemption.

You always have the choice to leave until you find where you belong and what makes you happy.

You’re even allowed to leave the old you behind and reinvent yourself.

Author: Rania Naim

Posted in A Success Story, An Angel for a guardian angel, Challenges, Food for Thought, How to take care of ur relationships, Human Rights, lessons, Let me breathe atleast now, Relationships, Uncategorized, wisdom

You are allowed to (By Rania Naim)

girl underwater dream 1280 by 720

Attributed to Rania Naim, author and poet. Originally published here.

You’re allowed to leave any story you don’t find yourself in.

You’re allowed to leave any story you don’t love yourself in.

You’re allowed to leave a city that has dimmed your light instead of making you shine brighter.

You’re allowed to pack all your bags and start over somewhere else and you’re allowed to redefine the meaning of your life.

You’re allowed to quit the job you hate even if the world tells you not to and you’re allowed to search for something that makes you look forward to tomorrow and to the rest of your life.

You’re allowed to leave someone you love if they’re treating you poorly.

You’re allowed to put yourself first if you’re settling and you’re allowed to walk away when you’ve tried over and over again but nothing has changed.

You’re allowed to let toxic friends go, you’re allowed to surround yourself with love, and people who encourage and nurture you.

You’re allowed to pick the kind of energy you need in your life.

You’re allowed to forgive yourself for your biggest and smallest mistakes and you’re allowed to be kind to yourself, you’re allowed to look in the mirror and actually like the person you see.

You’re allowed to set yourself free from your own expectations.

We sometimes look at leaving as a bad thing or associate it with giving up or quitting, but sometimes leaving is the best thing you can do for yourself.

Leaving allows you to change directions, to start over, to rediscover yourself and the world. Leaving sometimes saves you from staying stuck in the wrong place with the wrong people. Leaving opens a new door for change, growth, opportunities and redemption.

You always have the choice to leave until you find where you belong and what makes you happy.

You’re even allowed to leave the old you behind and reinvent yourself.

Read more of Rania Naim’s touching words here.

Posted in #EndViolence, Flame of Peace, Just Like That from the Justice Lady, Let me breathe atleast now, News, questions, Tears, Uncategorized

Unbridled Emotions: Mardaani 2

About Mardaani 2 (Wikipedia, IMDB)

As the end credits rolled up, I couldn’t contain my tears – I rushed to the wash room and wept – not a tear or two, but a whole barrage of pent up emotions that just flooded out of my eyes. I tried but couldn’t control..

With the recent rape and murder incidents fresh in my mind, this movie hit a very raw spot – perhaps I wouldn’t be wrong if I said that I speak on behalf of all the women in India…  all women who are today, insecure, scared and unsure just because there is no legal recourse or support for crimes against women.

I say this because Nirbhaya’s mother’s tears still haven’t stopped – even 7 years after the incident. Law keeps on circling around endlessly, with no respite – and India, where Goddesses are prayed to, suffers in hands of rapists who continue to violate women while law continues to move on its own pace, denying justice to these women, girls and infant children.

For women who were given justice quickly, we have enquiry committees set up to investigate how and why these beast rapists were killed in an encounter – they have a right to live, right? Oh my my, so right!! Do you know how many cases are pending in India due to understaffed and overworked tribunals?

Economic Survey 2018-19 released in July 2019 expressed concern over huge pendency of cases in Indian courts due to shortage of judges, saying India needs additional 8,521 judges in the next five years to clear the backlog.

Former Chief Justice of India Dipak Misra had raised similar concerns over a year ago when 3.3 crore cases were pending. That figure burgeoned to 3.53 crore on July 1, 2019, with all high courts and lower courts short of 5,535 judges.

Source – News18 (June 2019)

Screenshot 2019-12-23 at 00.22.36

But no, we have staff free for enquiry committees for rare justice administered. Where all of India, all of women folk, all girls and all concerned men folk are celebrating justice for what happened to young veterinarian Dr. Disha’s perpetrators – two of whom have already confessed to being serial killers in Hyderabad, we have our respected Supreme Court, ordering inquiries into the encounter – calling it fake. Fake? I really don’t care. No woman cares. No Indian woman cares – justice was administered. Period.

Do you know how many rapes occurred after that ill-fated night of 27 November, when Dr. Disha was so brutally raped and burnt to death???????

As a woman, I feel helpless,

I see the ill managed government that talks about subjects like, “I don’t care about onions because my family doesn’t care about eating them” or something like that. I see funny and illogical acts being passed in the name of religion and citizenship. I see stupid registers being made for preparing a list of citizens.

I feel helpless, when I see the tears of Nirbhaya’s parents after umpteen court hearings that keep getting dates on pretexts of “rights”. Even in spite of this development – don’t you think it’s too late?

Maybe, just maybe, an Unnao or a Hyderabad could have been prevented had Nirbhaya’s perpetrators been put to death as soon as they were identified?

I feel helpless when I hear the news of Unnao rape victim who loses her dignity, right to live, her father’s life, her uncle’s arrest, the death of her two aunts by “accident” in which a lorry collided with her vehicle as she was headed towards court – until the said accused was convicted on 20 December 2019? Justice – is still a joke. Because.. the trial in the other four cases – framing of the rape survivor’s father in illegal firearms case, his death in judicial custody, a conspiracy of accused with others in the accident case and the separate gang rape case of the survivor by three others – are still going on in the court.

I feel helpless when .. as I write this blog post,

22 Dec 2019: A 16-year old rape victim committed suicide in Madhya Pradesh’s Khargone district after police allegedly refused to register her complaint

22 Dec 2019: 23-year-old rape victim, who set herself on fire outside the office of Superintendent of Police (SP) in Unnao, India on December 16, has died in a Kanpur hospital.

17 Dec 2019: Muzaffarpur woman, set on fire for resisting rape, dies in hospital

14 Dec 2019: 18 year old girl raped by her uncle and set ablaze in Fatehpur

4 Dec 2019: Raped her while she was alive, raped her when she was dead: Confession of a rapist and murderer on camera

I think I can’t go on.. no, I can’t. Since that ill fated night, I had read multiple reports on Inshorts of rape of women and girls as young as 4 years old, and although I meant to add those in this blog post – I realize, I just can NOT.

I feel helpless.

I feel helpless when Nirbhaya’s rapist says, a girl is far more responsible for a rape than a boy.

I feel helpless.. when the defence lawyer for the rapists says, “You are talking about man and woman as friends. Sorry, that doesn’t have any place in our society. A woman means I immediately put the sex in his eyes.”

I feel helpless.

For all my sisters who have gone through this ordeal, for those who could survive, for those like Nirbhaya and Disha who couldn’t, for those who venture out each day, with a prayer in their heart, for those who are fighting marital rape each day, for those like my sister who are still struggling for justice because our legal system is warped, for those I know and for those I don’t – all I can do is weep and pray for your safety.

The movie – Mardaani 2 said it all like it is, today. I know for a fact that in Uttarakhand, even till date, men deem women equal to the dust under their shoes – and want her to remain there. I know for a fact that men ogle at women and lust at them at every nook and corner and women can’t do anything about it. I felt deeply unsatisfied with the ending of the movie – how do you equate the brutality of a sadist convoluted rapist with a few hits of a belt? No – even castration isn’t enough.

As a woman, I am scared to give birth – what if the baby is a girl? I am scared for the unborn daughter I might have. I am scared for every little girl I see around me – I want to wrap her up in my arms and protect her – but how long and how many can I protect?

It’s a hopeless country, India. And I feel – extremely helpless.

 

 

 

 

Posted in A Success Story, Abhi to main chhoti hoon, An Angel for a guardian angel, Challenges, Desire, happiness, Inevitable, Let me breathe atleast now, Love, Memories, My Art, Uncategorized, wisdom, wishes

An adventure

IMG-20171029-WA0020

Yes, thank you, that’s mine.

I have been wanting to buy a sewing machine for quite some time. Yesterday, I ventured out to do just that. The store is almost 25 kms from my home and Google decided to take me to a location where there was no store at all.

Now, let me tell you the whole story. I usually travel by cab but on Friday evening, there were no cabs available so I booked an auto. While I set out towards my home, I decided to instead go into the city interiors to find a sewing machine store. So I told the auto walla to take me into city instead as I want to buy a sewing machine. The auto walla, after pondering for some time, told me, “Madam, if you want to buy a sewing machine, you must buy it from X Shop in Y area. That shop is the biggest 3 floor store and you will find all kinds of machines there. I bought one for my wife 5 years ago, and she is still using it – the machine has never required a servicing till date.”

Wow, you can imagine my elation – I was like, “God, give me a rose, and a rose fell into my lap!!” So, I asked him to take me there the next day. He was a genuine simpleton and he agreed – although I wasn’t so sure that he would come, I reconfirmed with him.

The next day, he came right as he said, at 11.30 and we set out. Now, I had no idea that this Y area would be sooooooooo far away that it would feel like going to another city!!! Okay, so, throughout, the auto walla was narrating his story to me, about how he had worked hard and the cabs have beat their income down. I felt sorry for good hearted people like him, and prayed that he would prosper, in spite of the fact that I didn’t have great impressions about auto wallas in general.

It was about 12.30 when we reached. And right as he said, the shop was a large one – but the company of machines was local. And the price they quoted was HUGE. I thought, if I had to pay that much, I would rather buy an Usha Machine than a local one.

So again, I googled and to my luck, there was another distributor who stocked usha machines in the same area!!! So off I went, the auto, zipping through streets and sabzi markets and controlled parking areas to reach this place. And, the man was educated, well meant and showed me a lot of models. I chose one, and he quoted 9500, came down to 8500 and still, earned over 2000 profit because I did not have the great uncommon common sense to check the MRP on the box. He unboxed and fit it into the table – BTW, I insisted on the wheels option WITHOUT a motor. I am quite a stickler for traditional jooni purani stuff that way.

So, the guy said it would take about an hour to set it up. The kind auto walla was so cooperative, he said he will wait. It was 2.30 by that time and I was hungry. There was a small canteen kinda shop in the corner of the building and I headed over there to find something to eat. I asked the auto walla as well if he’d like to eat something. He declined, but said, he would drink some tea. So I ordered puri bhaji for myself and two teas.

The whole idea of this post came because THAT tea was the MOST tastiest tea in my city till date – trust me, no Tea Place or Cafe or Barista or any Chai place could serve as good a tea as this one!!! I am a Tea maniac and can have even 20 cups a day, without missing food. So, this one got a 10 on 10 – the proportion was jussst perfect. Not too much milk or sugar. The problem with tea EVERYWHERE else is that they serve it with 80 to 90% milk – which kills the whole point of tea. The way I drink it is to add a few teaspoons of milk in a cup of black tea.

That said, the task of fitting the machine into the auto was a huuuge one. I squeezed myself in a corner next to the machine and we set out. Another hour’s journey and by 4.30 I was home.

What a day!! And for 3 years now, I have wanted to buy a sewing machine – yes, I have a full time job, I intend to keep it, and no, I am not crazy. I am just too creative to not keep my fingers from fidgeting!! And, I am nurturing dreams of a big little business. 🙂 Yes, going my Dad’s way. I think.

So, wish me the bestest of good lucks, folks and friends.

I am on a new journey – yet again!!

Posted in Let me breathe atleast now

Let me breathe atleast now (EYC 35)

Let me breathe atleast now. (A mother’s plea to her kids who have forgotten her sacrifices)
(This poem was declared the first Runnerup in the contest by the host)

How long will you ask of me? How long can I give?
I am spent now. Forgive me, for God above.

Our care-provider left us. Untimely death. Onus I took upon me, every bit of it.
Life without a partner is hell. But I lived for I had you all.

I erased my tears; unshed raindrops. Fixed a smile upon the face, all genial.
Strive I had to, to bring you up. Although young, I gave everything up.

A good education, manners and values, I tried to fulfill wishes of every one of you.
Computer? Cellphone? Ipod? Sure. Why not? The world’s moving so fast.

Got you all married and well-settled. I am all alone now.
Although among a family of 10, I am all alone now.

Why? I ask you, why am I a burden today? Someone who craves for a kind glance.
You all are busy I agree But I have a beating heart too.

The same heart that breathed life into you, The same hands that held yours too
They crave for your touch. Look at me here, atleast once.

Don’t like me now, do you? Am I too ugly, too wrinkled for you?
Do I embarass you? Are my decisions no more good?

What goes around comes back to you. Hear me say! The world is round.
After night comes day. Today I am old and helpless.. tomorrow you will be too.

All I plead is to let me breathe atleast now. I want to live. To love.
I want to receive love from you all. That’s how I want to live.

I was breathing life into you all. Today, let me breathe for myself too.
I was smiling for you all. Today, please be the reason for my smile, will you?

“Flowers that used to cup the sun all day…..now under the spell of a long dark night…..”
~ Mrs. Muffet (A writer on Sulekha)

© Punam J R., all rights reserved.