Posted in A walk into the woods, An Angel for a guardian angel, Dreamy, Fantasy, Fiction, Hechicera, Journey under a starry night, Love, love msgs, Memories, romance, Time, Togetherness, Verses n Rhymes, walk into the woods

I sense her…

Korean Drama – The Guardian (Image Credit: https://koreandramaland.com/cherry-blossoms-in-kdramas/)

As the rain drops trickle down the old glass window,

I stare into what I call ‘that world’, What an epiphany!

To see another world inside a tiny shiny dew drop

I see the petals of the cherry blossom tear away

And fall ever so gently on the snow white ground

The soft and gentle touch – reminds me, so clearly,

Of an emotion – evoked by her hand on my cheek.

A maple leaf just flew past me – I tried to hold it quickly.

They say, if one catches a maple leaf in mid-air,

All wishes shall be granted. So I let my eyelids drop,

Whispering, “God, help me remember her. Who is she?”

Only the tiniest of memories, her scent, scintillating, yet elusive.

The fragrance she wore, the way she smiled, intensely.

Only the tiniest of memories are tormenting me – I need more!

Oh, I need to know, who was she that had encaptured me in her love?

The Oracle lady had but hinted – was it a past life? Or a dream?

Why do I see her hazy silhouette, and skin radiantly glowing?

How can I not have memories, yet have emotions so precise,

How can I hurt so deeply, yet not remember what had pierced?

I sense her…

Fresh as the morning glow,

Deep as the cherry red,

Mystical as the ocean’s depths,

Dark as the empty night.

I sense her…

She holds deep pain inside

She wields soulful eyes

Her voice tries to sing a story

Her hand, outstretched in longing…

I sense her…

Yes, I sense her… she is real.

I don’t know yet – who she is,

or why she visits my dreams

I don’t know yet – why emotions overflow

upon her thoughts – each time.

Yet, I sense her in me.

Deeply in me… unwaveringly real.

She is a mystery, a mystery full of intrigue

She has trapped me in an embrace of eternity.

I sense her.. eternally.

Context:

I just almost finished watching the Korean drama ‘The Guardian’ (AKA The Lonely Shining God – Goblin AKA The Goblin) and this verse was inspired by the events in the drama.

Posted in A walk into the woods, Hechicera, lady, Love, Memories, Mirage in the Mist, Random Pic Random Post, Relationships, romance, Togetherness

Shards of glass – Unbroken

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He is lost.. in her thoughts

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His mind captures this moment – to make it real one day

Note: I don't own the images and anyone who believes their photograph has been used here, please write to me and I shall connect with you asap.

One look at her and he knew she was a rag doll, a million shards of glass fixed together with something that was hardly visible – what held her together?

SHe intrigued him. He just did not know why he hired her. She was a mess. A clear mess. Deepika. Her eyes told it all – every broken shard shone in her deep eyes – blinding me into shock. What could have happened?

A heart break? He thought? Nope.. doesn’t look like. This is something much more deeper. He did ask her, “Have you ever loved someone?” And she just nodded. That’s it. Something about the way she fluttered her eyes made him feel that she could love deeply. As deep as her teary eyes.

But still, heart break wasn’t really what it seemed like. He had seen enough of life to know how many different faces this being called ‘grief’ wore. She was in grief. Yes. Absolute grief. That’s the right word. Grief.

Deep, dark, lonely, shrouded, NUMB.

A zombie. That’s what she had turned herself into. A zombie that knew only to work. Go back. Sleep. Get up. Come to work. Sleep. Nothing else. She hardly ate – and when she ate, it was tasteless crap, which she’d so sweetly share with me. Grief had turned her so numb that she couldn’t even make out the blandness of food.

WOuld you like to have coffee? Would you like to go out for coffee? I asked again, ensuring that she heard me. She looked up from her laptop. “Huh?? I don’t like coffee.” That’s it. This girl. This 30 something just turned a date into a coffee preference conversation. My Bloody Goodness!! She was either too smart or just too naive. Naive was a tall order – naive doesn’t exist these days. What was she?

All I knew was she worked – like hard labour. Effing hard labour. Tell her anything about the work she did, and she’d turn into this tigress – roaring and defending left right and center.

Something about her told me she could be trusted. Perhaps the mean gossip that went around about her ‘wierdness’ never reached her ears. Or if did, she perhaps didn’t care. Whatever it was, I could sense a flicker of respect for her. Unlike all other women of her age, she was just. A girl. Like a tiny tot that hides behind her mother’s sleeve – except that she hid behind her grief.

And she was determined to not let anyone shake her pieced up million shards up. It would have taken her ages – to pick up the pieces and walk tall again. I suddenly felt another sharp sting in the center of my heart. Protective?? Of course not!! I have seen enough. But the sting kept digging in and in – until it morphed itself into an arrow that pierced to the other side of my heart. I was confused.

It doesn’t really work that way. It doesn’t. But that sting was a growing desire to unbreak her. To peel off that pieced up skin to reveal a bright shining beauty that had retired some 5-6 years ago, I guessed, only to be proven correct later.

Deepika, he thought, somehow, I believe there would always be space for your hand in mine. “Give me your hand”, he said.

The lady doesn’t even turn her head!! She just gives a cross eyed look.

Phewwww. The Board Room fight was easier, I guess!!

Who does he think he is? Absolutely no sense of how to talk to a woman..!!

Huh!! Whatever!

*back to her article

Do you think this is a paragraph from a Mills & Boon story?

Would you like to give him a name?

What next??

*Originally published 9th January 2016

Posted in A walk into the woods, An Angel for a guardian angel, Desire, Dreamy, Fantasy, Fiction, Friends, happiness, Hechicera, Journey under a starry night, Love, love msgs, Mirage in the Mist, Our dreams haven't aged dear, Relationships, romance, sea, Uncategorized, Verses n Rhymes

Don’t cause butterflies in my tummy

Butterflies in my tummy
From a far far away land of fantasy
For so very long, I truly believed
I had dead butterflies in my tummy

It’s taken too long for me to accept
That there’s no one but me
You know you are taken, taken, taken
So don’t cause butterflies in my tummy

Do you know how it feels
When so many I see in twos
A void begins to fill me up
In every cell through and through

Your intentions may be clear
I know we are friends dear
But the desert but has just one oasis to be
So don’t cause butterflies in my tummy

Oh it’s a great thing to hear
All will be okay when you love yourself dear
But nothing seems okay to me as I think why
Even the moon has the eternal company of the dark sky

Some in twos are craving to be one
Some all alone are wanting to find the one
If perfection were to be a tree
It would be like a cactus thorny

If perfection were to be a movie
It would but be just a tragedy
For the heers and the ranjhaas and the heeras and the pannas
Haven’t they all met with the same destiny

How would I then, be different?

Scarred for life by a narcissist with torment
Lost all my confidence, trust in self and worth
To be rebuilt all over from square one

So your request for a dance momentarily
Caused fluttering butterflies in my tummy

Yes yes I know I deflected it promptly
With words about pen, paper and a story
But hey, then this poem came through eventually
So don’t you cause butterflies in my tummy

Posted in And she was left only with shattered dreams, Betrayals, hindi, lessons, Love, Relationships, romance, Uncategorized

प्यार नही था तो बोल देते

One of the most heart-wrenching words I have come across in recent times.. Perhaps, a popular actor who recently left the world would have these in his mind.. for sure.

❤AAISHA ❤ GOUR❤

*प्यार नही था मुझसे तो एक बार बोल देते मुझे तुम,,,,,,

*यू सरे आम बदनाम तो ना करते फिरते मुझे तुम,,,,,,,,

* पहले ही बोला था दिल के साथ मेरे कभी खेलना नही तुम,,,,,,,

*प्यार नही होगा जिस दिन मुझसे तुम्हे ,,,,,,,

*बता ही देना उस दिन मुझे तुम,,,,,,

*यू सरे आम बदनाम तो ना करना मुझे तुम,,,,

*प्यार नही था मुझसे तो एक बोल देते मुझे तुम,,,,,

*यू सरे आम बदनाम तो ना करते मुझे तुम,,,,

*यू दिल तोड़ते ना मेरा तुम,,,,,

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Posted in And she was left only with shattered dreams, Betrayals, lessons, Love, questions, Relationships, Togetherness, Verses n Rhymes

Meri awaaz suno

Sab saath hain phir bhi akeli hoon

Meri awaaz suno, main tumko pukaar rahi hoon

Tu saat toh hai par kahan hai

Meri awaaz suno, main pukaar rahi hoon

Mujhe aise mat kar tabaah,

Main mom ki gudiya jaisi hoon

Na jala mujhe main pighal kar tabaah ho rahi hoon

Meri awaaz suno, main tumko pukaar rahi hoon

Na kar woh jo sabne kiya hai mere saath

Main bikhar kar toot rahi hoon

Meri awaaz suno, main tumko pukaar rahi hoon

Meri aansuon pe khada kiya hai avyay ko tumne

Kahan tak jayega yeh main dekh rahi hoon

Meri awaaz suno, main tumko pukaar rahi hoon

Sapne dikhakar tod rahe ho, yeh jaan lena

Har aansu ka hai hisaaab yeh jaan lena

Meri awaaz suno, main tumko pukaar rahi hoon

In aansuon ko rok lo, teri tabaahi dekh rahi hoon

Meri awaaz suno, main tumko pukaar rahi hoon

Meri awaaz suno, main tumko pukaar rahi hoon

Posted in #life, A walk into the woods, About Me, Journey under a starry night, Love, Memories, ocean, Relationships, romance, sea, Togetherness, walk into the woods, wishes

Alive

The Mystery Behind, Beyond, and Beneath the Sea, weaves a Poem of Awe.

Every Wave, Ripple, Ebb and Flow seems to confirm, “I. Am. Alive.”

When dreams come true, this is how exhilarating you feel.

I started my journey with Dreamz Forever in 2007. It’s been 11 long years of amazing growth, struggles, learning, highs and lows.

What’s stayed is the little girl inside me.

She feels amazingly alive today.

Posted in A Success Story, Abhi to main chhoti hoon, An Angel for a guardian angel, Challenges, Desire, happiness, Inevitable, Let me breathe atleast now, Love, Memories, My Art, Uncategorized, wisdom, wishes

An adventure

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Yes, thank you, that’s mine.

I have been wanting to buy a sewing machine for quite some time. Yesterday, I ventured out to do just that. The store is almost 25 kms from my home and Google decided to take me to a location where there was no store at all.

Now, let me tell you the whole story. I usually travel by cab but on Friday evening, there were no cabs available so I booked an auto. While I set out towards my home, I decided to instead go into the city interiors to find a sewing machine store. So I told the auto walla to take me into city instead as I want to buy a sewing machine. The auto walla, after pondering for some time, told me, “Madam, if you want to buy a sewing machine, you must buy it from X Shop in Y area. That shop is the biggest 3 floor store and you will find all kinds of machines there. I bought one for my wife 5 years ago, and she is still using it – the machine has never required a servicing till date.”

Wow, you can imagine my elation – I was like, “God, give me a rose, and a rose fell into my lap!!” So, I asked him to take me there the next day. He was a genuine simpleton and he agreed – although I wasn’t so sure that he would come, I reconfirmed with him.

The next day, he came right as he said, at 11.30 and we set out. Now, I had no idea that this Y area would be sooooooooo far away that it would feel like going to another city!!! Okay, so, throughout, the auto walla was narrating his story to me, about how he had worked hard and the cabs have beat their income down. I felt sorry for good hearted people like him, and prayed that he would prosper, in spite of the fact that I didn’t have great impressions about auto wallas in general.

It was about 12.30 when we reached. And right as he said, the shop was a large one – but the company of machines was local. And the price they quoted was HUGE. I thought, if I had to pay that much, I would rather buy an Usha Machine than a local one.

So again, I googled and to my luck, there was another distributor who stocked usha machines in the same area!!! So off I went, the auto, zipping through streets and sabzi markets and controlled parking areas to reach this place. And, the man was educated, well meant and showed me a lot of models. I chose one, and he quoted 9500, came down to 8500 and still, earned over 2000 profit because I did not have the great uncommon common sense to check the MRP on the box. He unboxed and fit it into the table – BTW, I insisted on the wheels option WITHOUT a motor. I am quite a stickler for traditional jooni purani stuff that way.

So, the guy said it would take about an hour to set it up. The kind auto walla was so cooperative, he said he will wait. It was 2.30 by that time and I was hungry. There was a small canteen kinda shop in the corner of the building and I headed over there to find something to eat. I asked the auto walla as well if he’d like to eat something. He declined, but said, he would drink some tea. So I ordered puri bhaji for myself and two teas.

The whole idea of this post came because THAT tea was the MOST tastiest tea in my city till date – trust me, no Tea Place or Cafe or Barista or any Chai place could serve as good a tea as this one!!! I am a Tea maniac and can have even 20 cups a day, without missing food. So, this one got a 10 on 10 – the proportion was jussst perfect. Not too much milk or sugar. The problem with tea EVERYWHERE else is that they serve it with 80 to 90% milk – which kills the whole point of tea. The way I drink it is to add a few teaspoons of milk in a cup of black tea.

That said, the task of fitting the machine into the auto was a huuuge one. I squeezed myself in a corner next to the machine and we set out. Another hour’s journey and by 4.30 I was home.

What a day!! And for 3 years now, I have wanted to buy a sewing machine – yes, I have a full time job, I intend to keep it, and no, I am not crazy. I am just too creative to not keep my fingers from fidgeting!! And, I am nurturing dreams of a big little business. 🙂 Yes, going my Dad’s way. I think.

So, wish me the bestest of good lucks, folks and friends.

I am on a new journey – yet again!!

Posted in #EndViolence, #introvert, #life, Challenges, Food for Thought, Human Rights, Just Like That from the Justice Lady, lessons, Love, Uncategorized, walk into the woods, wisdom

What it means being an Empath

I didn’t know that I am an Empath.

woman-cat-empath.jpg

As I move ahead on my spiritual path and discover new things about myself in this journey, I have received a lot of answers to questions that I always had, and to those that I never had either.

I will try my best to share this journey with you, maybe one of you will identify with it, who knows?

  1. Songs affect me in a huge way. I can not bear to listen to some songs (esp from the oldies lot like Kishore Kumar’s) because they make me depressed.
  2. Deja Vu is a common phenomenon with me, because I tend to have the feeling of “I’ve been here before”, or “I’ve seen him/her before” quite often.
  3. Pink skies make me depressed and a bit scared as well.
  4. I am highly highly sensitive and tend to pick up vibes very quickly. (To my deepest chagrin, at work, I am just the opposite..!!!!)
  5. I like/do not like cities or places according to the vibes I get.
  6. I tend to immediately catch the feelings of a person around me if they are sad, depressed or in grief.
  7. I cry a lot… a lot means really a lot. Every emotion results in tears – joy, sorrow, grief, anger, irritation, upset – every damn emotion and the tears flow.
  8. When someone shares their feelings with me, I suffer along with them because those feelings and emotions become me and I become them. This is the worst trait I have.
  9. Hate crowds. Hate empty stores too. Extremes.
  10. These movies disturbed me very badly: Trapped, Life, Alien Covenant – you get the point.
  11. Long conversations, especially with acquaintances tire me out. I can’t sustain long phone conversations either.
  12. Loud noises, loud speakers, screaming people etc. disturb me and drive me to madness. So also, I get startled easily, even by something as small as the ringing of a phone – I jump out of my seat. There have been times when I actually dropped the phone when it started ringing.
  13. I can NOT multitask. Neither physically not mentally. Conversely, I can read two books parallelly – but each a bit at a time, I can switch from reading to painting to crochet to cooking faster than a butterfly switching flowers.
  14. I need time out after social get togethers, not that I go to too many of them.
  15. I have this very strong innate desire to heal others. Like I sometimes wish I had a magic wand to do that.
  16. You can NOT force me to do what I do not want to do. If you force me, I will feel suffocated.
  17. I am always disturbed by injustice. If I see any injustice happening around me, I have to hold the urge to get involved and give a piece of my mind. (My latest anger is directed towards Mr. Modi for coming up with privacy-killing ideas such as compulsory registration of marriages. What will women in our society do? He is so insensitive to women. My second latest is against trolls who want to keep pestering people who have no interest in them.)
  18. Many times, I feel emotions that I have no idea where they have come from. I go down without reason, I am happy without reason… I have no idea what touches me during my course of the day.
  19. You may have hurt me profusely and you may have back-stabbed me, but I will reach out if I know you are in pain. And I beat myself up for it, because it is the most vulnerable thing to do – put yourself up for more pain with people who do not value you.
  20. And of couse, I am drawn to healing modalities. Obviously.

That makes 20 of them.