Dear Grandpa

I miss you.

You had set the foundation for our comfortable life, having come here with nothing and building everything from the scratch.

I remember how I used to play with your hair as a little child. You were so possessive with your hair and yet, whenever I felt like, I would get so many rubber bands and make little ponytails all over. You would check yourself in the small hand-held mirror and laugh.

I remember you started giving me pocket money every month when I turned 13. 200 rupees. I used to spend it in Archies – and would look forward to the next month.

I remember  how you were concerned about my health and that I am too skinny. I used to tease you by showing my non-existent biceps and you would burst out in laughter.

I remember how you would bring cartons of Goldspot and ThumsUp because we all loved them. You would also bring Cadbury’s Crackle, Dairy Milk and Fruit & Nut – again, cartons with 10 pieces so that we could eat them to our heart’s content!!

When I ventured out, you would be so concerned and would ask my mum how I am doing, whether I am eating well or not. You were so proud of me when I told you my salary and you just smiled from ear to ear.

When I came home two weeks back, seeing you in the condition that you were, brought me down to tears. I couldn’t resist sitting by your side and caressing your head. You caught hold of my hand tightly, as if to say, thank you – don’t go. When you refused to eat food, I coaxed you into opening your mouth so that I could push the food in. You had given up on life. I had to force water down your throat as you opened your lips a bit – you weren’t even ready to drink water!!

I ran to my dad and cried and cried – asking him if something could be done, but he said, no beta, this is life. He will get more harassed if we shift him to the hospital. Wistfully, I left for my job that Monday, and by Saturday, you were gone.

I got the phone call from dad while I was in a meeting Saturday early morning. I rushed home and cried and cried, thinking and thanking for coming home the previous week. I booked my tickets and when I reached home, seeing you, lying so peacefully inside the ice box, with an angelic smile on your face, broke my heart. You looked as radiant as alive. I wanted to touch you – but everyone had to come. Your last rites broke my heart again. As I bid farewell, I prayed that you would always watch over us, and forgive us for anything that we would have not been able to fulfill.

Daddy (as we call you), I love you, I miss you.

I am sad that you are no more, but grateful too, that your suffering has ended.

Stay with us in our memories and be there, our guardian angel.

 

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In my World

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In my world,

there is no sorrow

there is no depression

there is no anxiety

there is no crime

there is no violence

there is no hunger

there is no betrayal

there is no politics

In my world,

there is only love.

Brought by benign souls

Promoted by kind angels

They share their excess with kindness

They accept from others with humility.

And they maintain a balance.

Tell me you are one of them.

Tell me.

Because I know, that I am.

But my world needs you to become perfect.

My world needs change to become what I define it to be.

My world.

Born free. Free to choose.

Live and Help Live.

Most valuable gem

I bought some gem stones today.

Also a bracelet made with all the stones. But then, I was debating how much more to spend, for it’s an endless street. You go in, and unless your brain pulls you out, you just don’t stop. I got so attracted to Malachite that I just couldn’t express. I went wayyyy beyond my budget to indulge in … yes, gem stones.

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The beautiful Malachite

But then that’s not what I want to tell you about.

This very benign gentleman, humble as ever, recognized me as soon as I entered Lucky Gems. He was very happy to see me. We got talking and he said he had just returned from Kashmir, having spent 20 days with his Sufi guru.

And I was really amazed. He was so humble. He said something that really struck me.

In his words,”My Guru says that we plan such huge things, big dreams, bigger houses, long cars, huge bungalows, loads of money, but we don’t realize that the ENTIRE life is inside just that O.N.E. L.I.T.T.L.E. H.E.A.R.T.B.E.A.T. That’s all. Jab tak woh dhadkan hai, tab tak zindagi hai.”

Now, can I say without a doubt that this bit of knowledge has made me millions more richer than any money would.

I told him, “Uncle, you know, what I just bought from you might be precious gem stones, but they are not the most valuable thing that I am taking away with me from you – it’s these words that you just said, that are precious.”

And I just came back home, ONLY to blog about this, and share my ecstasy with the world.

I will add pictures of my coveted bracelets and stones in my subsequent blog posts.

For now, I am mighty enchanted. Mmmm…

In a moment of time

You meet a stranger,

He’s no more a stranger – in a moment of time

You form an impression,

Your past experience prompts that impression – in a moment of  time

You expect all to be good

That’s because you see all as you are – in a moment of time

Life is created with a union, in a moment of time.

Life ends – in a moment of time

Why then, can’t we forgive?

Why then, do we hold grudges for eternity?