I miss you.
You had set the foundation for our comfortable life, having come here with nothing and building everything from the scratch.
I remember how I used to play with your hair as a little child. You were so possessive with your hair and yet, whenever I felt like, I would get so many rubber bands and make little ponytails all over. You would check yourself in the small hand-held mirror and laugh.
I remember you started giving me pocket money every month when I turned 13. 200 rupees. I used to spend it in Archies – and would look forward to the next month.
I remember how you were concerned about my health and that I am too skinny. I used to tease you by showing my non-existent biceps and you would burst out in laughter.
I remember how you would bring cartons of Goldspot and ThumsUp because we all loved them. You would also bring Cadbury’s Crackle, Dairy Milk and Fruit & Nut – again, cartons with 10 pieces so that we could eat them to our heart’s content!!
When I ventured out, you would be so concerned and would ask my mum how I am doing, whether I am eating well or not. You were so proud of me when I told you my salary and you just smiled from ear to ear.
When I came home two weeks back, seeing you in the condition that you were, brought me down to tears. I couldn’t resist sitting by your side and caressing your head. You caught hold of my hand tightly, as if to say, thank you – don’t go. When you refused to eat food, I coaxed you into opening your mouth so that I could push the food in. You had given up on life. I had to force water down your throat as you opened your lips a bit – you weren’t even ready to drink water!!
I ran to my dad and cried and cried – asking him if something could be done, but he said, no beta, this is life. He will get more harassed if we shift him to the hospital. Wistfully, I left for my job that Monday, and by Saturday, you were gone.
I got the phone call from dad while I was in a meeting Saturday early morning. I rushed home and cried and cried, thinking and thanking for coming home the previous week. I booked my tickets and when I reached home, seeing you, lying so peacefully inside the ice box, with an angelic smile on your face, broke my heart. You looked as radiant as alive. I wanted to touch you – but everyone had to come. Your last rites broke my heart again. As I bid farewell, I prayed that you would always watch over us, and forgive us for anything that we would have not been able to fulfill.
Daddy (as we call you), I love you, I miss you.
I am sad that you are no more, but grateful too, that your suffering has ended.
Stay with us in our memories and be there, our guardian angel.