Posted in Betrayals, Challenges, Food for Thought, Human Rights, Inevitable, Kalyug, lessons, questions, Uncategorized, unfair

Hope, where art thou?

The year gone by has been brutal to say the least. Doctors, nurses, healthcare workers are holding their forts bravely, counseling, leading, consulting, treating and guiding caregivers on their kith and kin. They have been through the entire cycle – from the point a concerned family member approaches them with the first symptom, to the point they have had to share the “news” that the patient is no more. Some are holding up, some lost hope and gave up on their lives, some are hanging on by the thinnest strand of hope, love, patience, whatever they can.

Life has given up a million times in this last one year.

Almost every one of us are, or were, a caregiver to someone during this period.

We have never ever felt more helpless, more powerless and more desperate than today. The sights of graveyards and cremation grounds on TV channels is nothing less than an apocalypse. The thought of so many people in grief – wrenches the heart in fear.

The apathy of those we entrusted our lives to;

The cold blooded, ruthless stare of the self-centered soul wreaks heavily of hands drenched in blood.

But that is not what comes to the mind when caregivers hear screams of their loved ones. Not the shrieks but the silent screams of helpless eyes searching, looking, knowing that something dreadful will happen. These screams, silent screams, if one were to translate, would have just one question – Why?

Why did we allow someone to gag us silent, to bully us into servitude, to convince us that suicide is the best route to salvation?

Why did we allow someone to convince us to hate our brothers, to choose a path that would lead us to devastation?

Why did we not see it coming, when human life was being squandered on the roads leaving blood red foot steps of those wanting to return home, but no one to hear their pleas.

Why did we not see it coming when lifeless men were erected to be worshipped as those who laid its foundation – alive, hungry, struggling, surviving, were ignored?

Why did we allow such huge eons to creep up between the affluent and the common, that the common had no other way except to embrace crime so the pangs would stop?

More questions – but maybe, one day, maybe we all will breathe free, talk free, express free and live free, without fear.

Maybe we all will breathe free, talk free, express free and live free, without fear.

Maybe one day, we all will remember how many of us donned angel wings and tried to help unknown souls, some successful, some not, some punished – but maybe one day, we will all remember what kept us sane is the little bit of humanity that we clung on to, for one another.

Posted in And she was left only with shattered dreams, Betrayals, lessons, Love, questions, Relationships, Togetherness, Verses n Rhymes

Meri awaaz suno

Sab saath hain phir bhi akeli hoon

Meri awaaz suno, main tumko pukaar rahi hoon

Tu saat toh hai par kahan hai

Meri awaaz suno, main pukaar rahi hoon

Mujhe aise mat kar tabaah,

Main mom ki gudiya jaisi hoon

Na jala mujhe main pighal kar tabaah ho rahi hoon

Meri awaaz suno, main tumko pukaar rahi hoon

Na kar woh jo sabne kiya hai mere saath

Main bikhar kar toot rahi hoon

Meri awaaz suno, main tumko pukaar rahi hoon

Meri aansuon pe khada kiya hai avyay ko tumne

Kahan tak jayega yeh main dekh rahi hoon

Meri awaaz suno, main tumko pukaar rahi hoon

Sapne dikhakar tod rahe ho, yeh jaan lena

Har aansu ka hai hisaaab yeh jaan lena

Meri awaaz suno, main tumko pukaar rahi hoon

In aansuon ko rok lo, teri tabaahi dekh rahi hoon

Meri awaaz suno, main tumko pukaar rahi hoon

Meri awaaz suno, main tumko pukaar rahi hoon

Posted in #EndViolence, Flame of Peace, Just Like That from the Justice Lady, Let me breathe atleast now, News, questions, Tears, Uncategorized

Unbridled Emotions: Mardaani 2

About Mardaani 2 (Wikipedia, IMDB)

As the end credits rolled up, I couldn’t contain my tears – I rushed to the wash room and wept – not a tear or two, but a whole barrage of pent up emotions that just flooded out of my eyes. I tried but couldn’t control..

With the recent rape and murder incidents fresh in my mind, this movie hit a very raw spot – perhaps I wouldn’t be wrong if I said that I speak on behalf of all the women in India…  all women who are today, insecure, scared and unsure just because there is no legal recourse or support for crimes against women.

I say this because Nirbhaya’s mother’s tears still haven’t stopped – even 7 years after the incident. Law keeps on circling around endlessly, with no respite – and India, where Goddesses are prayed to, suffers in hands of rapists who continue to violate women while law continues to move on its own pace, denying justice to these women, girls and infant children.

For women who were given justice quickly, we have enquiry committees set up to investigate how and why these beast rapists were killed in an encounter – they have a right to live, right? Oh my my, so right!! Do you know how many cases are pending in India due to understaffed and overworked tribunals?

Economic Survey 2018-19 released in July 2019 expressed concern over huge pendency of cases in Indian courts due to shortage of judges, saying India needs additional 8,521 judges in the next five years to clear the backlog.

Former Chief Justice of India Dipak Misra had raised similar concerns over a year ago when 3.3 crore cases were pending. That figure burgeoned to 3.53 crore on July 1, 2019, with all high courts and lower courts short of 5,535 judges.

Source – News18 (June 2019)

Screenshot 2019-12-23 at 00.22.36

But no, we have staff free for enquiry committees for rare justice administered. Where all of India, all of women folk, all girls and all concerned men folk are celebrating justice for what happened to young veterinarian Dr. Disha’s perpetrators – two of whom have already confessed to being serial killers in Hyderabad, we have our respected Supreme Court, ordering inquiries into the encounter – calling it fake. Fake? I really don’t care. No woman cares. No Indian woman cares – justice was administered. Period.

Do you know how many rapes occurred after that ill-fated night of 27 November, when Dr. Disha was so brutally raped and burnt to death???????

As a woman, I feel helpless,

I see the ill managed government that talks about subjects like, “I don’t care about onions because my family doesn’t care about eating them” or something like that. I see funny and illogical acts being passed in the name of religion and citizenship. I see stupid registers being made for preparing a list of citizens.

I feel helpless, when I see the tears of Nirbhaya’s parents after umpteen court hearings that keep getting dates on pretexts of “rights”. Even in spite of this development – don’t you think it’s too late?

Maybe, just maybe, an Unnao or a Hyderabad could have been prevented had Nirbhaya’s perpetrators been put to death as soon as they were identified?

I feel helpless when I hear the news of Unnao rape victim who loses her dignity, right to live, her father’s life, her uncle’s arrest, the death of her two aunts by “accident” in which a lorry collided with her vehicle as she was headed towards court – until the said accused was convicted on 20 December 2019? Justice – is still a joke. Because.. the trial in the other four cases – framing of the rape survivor’s father in illegal firearms case, his death in judicial custody, a conspiracy of accused with others in the accident case and the separate gang rape case of the survivor by three others – are still going on in the court.

I feel helpless when .. as I write this blog post,

22 Dec 2019: A 16-year old rape victim committed suicide in Madhya Pradesh’s Khargone district after police allegedly refused to register her complaint

22 Dec 2019: 23-year-old rape victim, who set herself on fire outside the office of Superintendent of Police (SP) in Unnao, India on December 16, has died in a Kanpur hospital.

17 Dec 2019: Muzaffarpur woman, set on fire for resisting rape, dies in hospital

14 Dec 2019: 18 year old girl raped by her uncle and set ablaze in Fatehpur

4 Dec 2019: Raped her while she was alive, raped her when she was dead: Confession of a rapist and murderer on camera

I think I can’t go on.. no, I can’t. Since that ill fated night, I had read multiple reports on Inshorts of rape of women and girls as young as 4 years old, and although I meant to add those in this blog post – I realize, I just can NOT.

I feel helpless.

I feel helpless when Nirbhaya’s rapist says, a girl is far more responsible for a rape than a boy.

I feel helpless.. when the defence lawyer for the rapists says, “You are talking about man and woman as friends. Sorry, that doesn’t have any place in our society. A woman means I immediately put the sex in his eyes.”

I feel helpless.

For all my sisters who have gone through this ordeal, for those who could survive, for those like Nirbhaya and Disha who couldn’t, for those who venture out each day, with a prayer in their heart, for those who are fighting marital rape each day, for those like my sister who are still struggling for justice because our legal system is warped, for those I know and for those I don’t – all I can do is weep and pray for your safety.

The movie – Mardaani 2 said it all like it is, today. I know for a fact that in Uttarakhand, even till date, men deem women equal to the dust under their shoes – and want her to remain there. I know for a fact that men ogle at women and lust at them at every nook and corner and women can’t do anything about it. I felt deeply unsatisfied with the ending of the movie – how do you equate the brutality of a sadist convoluted rapist with a few hits of a belt? No – even castration isn’t enough.

As a woman, I am scared to give birth – what if the baby is a girl? I am scared for the unborn daughter I might have. I am scared for every little girl I see around me – I want to wrap her up in my arms and protect her – but how long and how many can I protect?

It’s a hopeless country, India. And I feel – extremely helpless.

 

 

 

 

Posted in Betrayals, Causes, Challenges, Education, lessons, Mirage in the Mist, questions, Uncategorized, unfair

An answer-less question

Juz thinking.. why no marriage of aadhar with voter card? If we want one and only one identity, then everything else must be removed.

How will a daily wage worker have a bank account?

Digital India is not just for the common man. It’s not just for the individual who has to stand in the lines for hours and hours to withdraw money that changed faces overnight. It’s not just for the little ones who are dying because their family’s name was struck off from welfare rolls for not having performed the “marriage” of aadhar with ration card.

It’s also for the ruling who have been able to settle down on “that” chair because these very same people had chosen them to rule. They chose, not for starving to death, not for being forced to have empty bank accounts, not for struggling to get new money, not for being threatened that their bank accounts will be discontinued, not for having to shell out taxes on basic needs that are “unclear”, “vague” and “dynamic”, not for women who pay more because sanitary napkins got dearer, not for the weaver whose fabric anyway has lost demand, not for manufacturers who are already hit because of imports, not for witnessing preferential treatment to those on the high chairs, not to suffer unplanned and disillusioned overnight decisions, not to just endlessly suffer.

It’s also for the ruling to first address the starved, the sick, the struggling and provide basic needs. One wouldn’t want to keep a little shack clean on an empty stomach. True, there are people – educated for that matter – who litter. But there is a higher percentage that has nothing to even litter. In fact, some find food from litter. Isn’t that a shame? Making life easier for the common man seems to be the last in the list of the ruling. However, do note that this is not meant to be an absolute statement.

It’s also for the ruling to first address the sectors that are draining money rather than penalize everyone and create more money. Reducing wastage is also saving money. Improving efficiency is also saving money. When you and I and everyone else is clearly showing where we are spending our money, then the ruling is also supposed to show where they are spending “our” money. Wouldn’t that be fair?

Anyway, I am not for or against anyone and am also aware of the positive changes that have happened – although very few and I am not sure if the effect of positive overrides the effect of negative, or vice versa? I started off as a thought, and didn’t plan to write so much – but, I guess there was a lot in mind that needed to be expressed. I am worried though. Really worried. Is the place where the Aadhar identities are kept secured enough? That and several apprehensions.

And even now, my question remains unanswered.

Do you have an answer?

 

Posted in #EndViolence, #life, Betrayals, Challenges, Human Rights, Just Like That from the Justice Lady, lessons, questions, Relationships, Uncategorized, wisdom

Turning back

She found his sister-in-law walking down the street opposite to her house. It had been 8 years since she had seen any of his family members. Debating whether to avoid or not, she found her approaching. In her heart, she missed the friendship she had shared with his sister. It was an easy-going friendship, one that was without judgement. She called her ‘didi’, and not ‘bhabhi’. She did not want to bring the ‘weight’ of a bhabhi-wala relation into the simple sisterly friendship.

As didi approached, she hugged her, reminiscing the days gone by. Didi took her to her house, where there were a lot of people buzzing around, maybe for a wedding that was planned in the house. She felt amiss. Didi took her to a room and asked her to wait. On the other side of the room, she felt a presence. Ma. She jumped in surprise, went ahead and hugged ma too. Touched feet. Ma was distanced and detached. She handed me a letter. A handwritten letter.

She just took and just gave it a listless glance. No expression. When she went to her room, she found him there. She had forgiven him and had no weight in her heart. So, she greeted him politely.  Apparently, they all wanted him and her to get back together. She thought in her heart, that it was a foolish wishful want. She debated whether to cut this conversation short or see what he had to say. Curiosity took over and she took a seat 5 feet away from him. They spoke about inconsequential things. Then his intention was to move on to personal chat, but she sensed it and cut him short. She wanted to leave, but he got angry. All she said was, “You are still the same. Lower your temper.”

And she went to her parents to tell them to go and ask that family to move on. What did she achieve from that conversation? Not sure, maybe she had the satisfaction of knowing that it was the right thing to do, to walk out. Rather, to accept that he walked out. That a piece of paper with two signatures mean nothing when someone does not want to nurture a relationship. And of course, vice versa.

She thought of the man she now had in her life. Dynamic, mature and extremely loving. She thanked her stars. A small smile escaped her lips.

Track 2:

In her words:

The wedding atmosphere suddenly turned into tension filled melee. She was puzzled. Then people came running and shouting that the groom has halted the wedding celebrations because he wanted 10 lakhs immediately. The bride’s parents tried to ask our parents to arrange for the money. And fools that they are, they way they chose that man for me, they scrambled around, arranging for it.

I asked them to stop the madness. Just. Stop. It.

How dare that girl not stop this by taking a stand?? This for God’s sake is the 21st century. Educated people do NOT blackmail the bride’s family for money on the altar of marriage. What stops her from walking out? Is it okay to see her parents begging others for money? Is it okay to see the elderly couple scrambling around, and losing their wits on something as inconsequential as “buying a groom for their daughter”????

Track 3:

She wakes up with a jolt, angry and upset. Why after so many years, did she see this dream? Perhaps somewhere in her psyche, she expected him to come and apologize to her. And perhaps, somewhere in her psyche, she wants all those girls to stand up for their parents, who feel they are a victim of the society’s demands for sending a daughter with loads of materialistic things, with or without demand.

Track 4:

She thought of her parents who had the strength that ONLY true love could give, to support and in fact, help her in the brave decision she took so many years ago. She smiled as she saw the way her father’s head held high, when she told him of the salary hike she recently got. He is one proud father – he has seen her move from being a meek domestic girl to a confident corporate lady.

She immediately picked up her phone, and dialled Papa.

Smiling Female Business Leader With Arms Crossed

Posted in #life, Betrayals, Flame of Peace, Food for Thought, lessons, Love, Philosophy, questions, Relationships, Time

In a moment of time

You meet a stranger,

He’s no more a stranger – in a moment of time

You form an impression,

Your past experience prompts that impression – in a moment of  time

You expect all to be good

That’s because you see all as you are – in a moment of time

Life is created with a union, in a moment of time.

Life ends – in a moment of time

Why then, can’t we forgive?

Why then, do we hold grudges for eternity?

 

Posted in #EndViolence, #introvert, #life, Challenges, Just Like That from the Justice Lady, lessons, Philosophy, questions, Relationships, Tears, Uncategorized, wisdom

Tears equal helplessness

Why do you cry so much? She asked

I don’t know.

But there must be a reason, right? She persisted.

Do you cry when you are sad?

Yes

Do you cry when you are hurt?

Yes

Do you cry when you are angry?

Yes, i think yes.

OK. Crying is a sign of helplessness. Are you helpless?

No answer

Are you helpless?

No.

Do you think you are so helpless that you can not take action? What could you have done differently, instead of crying?

I have no idea. I just felt so hurt, so dejected that the tears flowed. It was so unfair. It just wasn’t how things are done.

OK. So you felt hurt. But were you helpless? You could have addressed it head on. Right? Maybe you were scared that there would be a confrontation. Maybe you thought you would be blamed of something. Maybe… and there are a hundreds of maybes that I can give you.

End of the day, were you helpless? No. Could you have chosen another way? Yes.

So, next time, before you allow those tears to encroach upon your cheeks, ask yourself, “Am I helpless?” And if the answer is no, just act upon the reason of “No”. 

Female support

Posted in #life, Food for Thought, happiness, Inspiration, lady, lessons, Love, questions, Relationships, romance, Tears

She sold herself

“Aseen sajna tuti yaari da, ajj tak afsos manaunde rahe…
Tusee heera gawa ke khush phirde, asee pathran laay pachtaunde rahe”

I am nursing my broken heart, and still mourning for it till date,
You are happy losing a diamond, I am still regretting the loss of a pebble.


She was hurled out the car by the man she loved. She was drunk, drugged and high. Wandering on the streets aimlessly in the dark of the night, she sized up her past two relationships. They were more physical than emotional. Emotional at her end, but the men, only wanted her body. She couldn’t see it. Everyone tried to show her the truth. She defied.

She did not want to believe them, because she believed him. He wouldn’t commit. Yet, she believed him. There were red lights every time they spoke about marriage. Yet, she believed him. He would avoid talking about ‘us’. She had never been in any of his future plans. Yet, she believed him.

Today, when he unceremoniously hurled her out of his car, bang on the highway, in a state of stupor, her eyes suddenly saw what everyone was trying to show her. It was her body he had wanted all along. It was only sex. No love. She was dazed at the realization. All alone.

Passersby look at her – wierdo. She is talking to herself.

I am a commodity. You never loved me. I am only a commodity. How dare you do this to me. You knew HE had used me too, before you. Yet, you did the same thing to me. Nobody sees the heart that beats inside a woman’s body. A woman is only the sum total of her physical assets. You know what? So be it. If that is what it is, then that is what it is gonna be.

She is seen at red light areas now – in the same stupor, red-shot eyes and swaying in lilting dresses. People still use her. Use her body. At least, this time, she knows that that is what they want from her. At least, this time, they won’t take her heart and mangle it into a million bloody shreds. At least, they pay her now. She can always buy those drugs and keep herself high. Until her last breath. Bastards.

Built from: Heroine, Fashion and The Dirty Picture