Turning back

She found his sister-in-law walking down the street opposite to her house. It had been 8 years since she had seen any of his family members. Debating whether to avoid or not, she found her approaching. In her heart, she missed the friendship she had shared with his sister. It was an easy-going friendship, one that was without judgement. She called her ‘didi’, and not ‘bhabhi’. She did not want to bring the ‘weight’ of a bhabhi-wala relation into the simple sisterly friendship.

As didi approached, she hugged her, reminiscing the days gone by. Didi took her to her house, where there were a lot of people buzzing around, maybe for a wedding that was planned in the house. She felt amiss. Didi took her to a room and asked her to wait. On the other side of the room, she felt a presence. Ma. She jumped in surprise, went ahead and hugged ma too. Touched feet. Ma was distanced and detached. She handed me a letter. A handwritten letter.

She just took and just gave it a listless glance. No expression. When she went to her room, she found him there. She had forgiven him and had no weight in her heart. So, she greeted him politely.  Apparently, they all wanted him and her to get back together. She thought in her heart, that it was a foolish wishful want. She debated whether to cut this conversation short or see what he had to say. Curiosity took over and she took a seat 5 feet away from him. They spoke about inconsequential things. Then his intention was to move on to personal chat, but she sensed it and cut him short. She wanted to leave, but he got angry. All she said was, “You are still the same. Lower your temper.”

And she went to her parents to tell them to go and ask that family to move on. What did she achieve from that conversation? Not sure, maybe she had the satisfaction of knowing that it was the right thing to do, to walk out. Rather, to accept that he walked out. That a piece of paper with two signatures mean nothing when someone does not want to nurture a relationship. And of course, vice versa.

She thought of the man she now had in her life. Dynamic, mature and extremely loving. She thanked her stars. A small smile escaped her lips.

Track 2:

In her words:

The wedding atmosphere suddenly turned into tension filled melee. She was puzzled. Then people came running and shouting that the groom has halted the wedding celebrations because he wanted 10 lakhs immediately. The bride’s parents tried to ask our parents to arrange for the money. And fools that they are, they way they chose that man for me, they scrambled around, arranging for it.

I asked them to stop the madness. Just. Stop. It.

How dare that girl not stop this by taking a stand?? This for God’s sake is the 21st century. Educated people do NOT blackmail the bride’s family for money on the altar of marriage. What stops her from walking out? Is it okay to see her parents begging others for money? Is it okay to see the elderly couple scrambling around, and losing their wits on something as inconsequential as “buying a groom for their daughter”????

Track 3:

She wakes up with a jolt, angry and upset. Why after so many years, did she see this dream? Perhaps somewhere in her psyche, she expected him to come and apologize to her. And perhaps, somewhere in her psyche, she wants all those girls to stand up for their parents, who feel they are a victim of the society’s demands for sending a daughter with loads of materialistic things, with or without demand.

Track 4:

She thought of her parents who had the strength that ONLY true love could give, to support and in fact, help her in the brave decision she took so many years ago. She smiled as she saw the way her father’s head held high, when she told him of the salary hike she recently got. He is one proud father – he has seen her move from being a meek domestic girl to a confident corporate lady.

She immediately picked up her phone, and dialled Papa.

Smiling Female Business Leader With Arms Crossed

LinkedIn Policing

One of the ladies on LinkedIn, Suman Agarwal posted the following question:

Should a woman stay in an abusive marriage for her kids or move out for her kids?

It’s obvious that the question would invite a barrage of debatable comments. But I do not want to talk here about the answer to that question right now. We will come to that later. What shocked me is the number of people who started commenting on whether LinkedIn is the right forum for this question.

Some even advised Suman to post it on Facebook.

Some such high headed commentors included women – sadly.

Here are some classic comments and replies to them from level-headed people:

**Advance Warning: I have collated about 50 comments from 500 – worked hard on it. Go ahead only of you have the patience to read them. You can scroll down though, but won’t comprehend why I am so cross.

40

Can’t even talk English. But saving family is lady’s responsibility, even if she is abused.

39

Spend more time with the husband so that he can abuse her more. Mr srinivaas makes perfect sense.

And Ms Swetha Kala – wants to try and change the man, cater to his needs, understand… and what not, ridiculous!!!

38

We all are fools. Mr Tyagi has an IQ of Marilyn vos Savant.

36

Society is perfectly normal when it accepts man abusing woman. But raising a voice is misleading a society. Wow.

35

34

How spiritual!!

33

32

31

I want to go to the garden of Eden!!!

30

292827

ahem ahem, best poetry award!!

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People can not have the compassion to offer their view but have the galls to waste their precious time writing “Post in another forum”.

And, trust me, it made me livid. Such an important issue – every forum counts, every supporting comment, every possible solution counts!!! Sadly, people like this lady love posting such comments, diverting attention from an important issue to the relevance of the platform. Hello? Why are YOU commenting on that post if it’s not supposed to be on LinkedIn???

Instead of contributing value to the debate, they sit on their high chairs and JUDGE.

Too many rants these days, but the Justice Lady just can’t take it!!!

Why do people not let women be, not let them take their decisions, not let them flourish by themselves without raising fingers?

 

In a moment of time

You meet a stranger,

He’s no more a stranger – in a moment of time

You form an impression,

Your past experience prompts that impression – in a moment of  time

You expect all to be good

That’s because you see all as you are – in a moment of time

Life is created with a union, in a moment of time.

Life ends – in a moment of time

Why then, can’t we forgive?

Why then, do we hold grudges for eternity?

 

Tears equal helplessness

Why do you cry so much? She asked

I don’t know.

But there must be a reason, right? She persisted.

Do you cry when you are sad?

Yes

Do you cry when you are hurt?

Yes

Do you cry when you are angry?

Yes, i think yes.

OK. Crying is a sign of helplessness. Are you helpless?

No answer

Are you helpless?

No.

Do you think you are so helpless that you can not take action? What could you have done differently, instead of crying?

I have no idea. I just felt so hurt, so dejected that the tears flowed. It was so unfair. It just wasn’t how things are done.

OK. So you felt hurt. But were you helpless? You could have addressed it head on. Right? Maybe you were scared that there would be a confrontation. Maybe you thought you would be blamed of something. Maybe… and there are a hundreds of maybes that I can give you.

End of the day, were you helpless? No. Could you have chosen another way? Yes.

So, next time, before you allow those tears to encroach upon your cheeks, ask yourself, “Am I helpless?” And if the answer is no, just act upon the reason of “No”. 

Female support

So, what’s your New Year plan?

Oh trust me HOW I hate this one!!!

One day, just one day, maybe two years later, I will be able to reply, “I partied all night, got high and enjoyed every moment of it.” 🙂

However, mine was, “Ummm, I spent the night watching a movie.” 🙂 Of course I enjoyed it. No, I wasn’t lonely. No, I definitely wasn’t sad.

But as for now, let me share a few insights into how ALL introverts like to spend their New Years’ eve, or any other eves for that matter:

ed17

Image Credit: Introvert Doodles

Plus, if you want to know me, here’s a simple one, again from Introvert Doodles.

2a57

 

And, today’s conversation with a colleague was like

“What’s your resolution?”

I said, “Ummm.. I don’t know, maybe try to socialize more?”

“Yeahhh!! You should, you know.”

Yeppp I so do know!

Anyone for a cup of coffee? 😐

 

With that, people of the Blog World, I wish you a happy 2017.

And leave you with my motto,

Live and HELP Live”.

If you can make a difference in someone’s life, and ignore to do it, you miss your chance of coveting a credit. They miss a chance of meeting God in your cloak. Deep, right? Hope you all get it.

OK enough of preaching. 🙂

Take care!!