Posted in #EndViolence, Flame of Peace, Just Like That from the Justice Lady, Let me breathe atleast now, News, questions, Tears, Uncategorized

Unbridled Emotions: Mardaani 2

About Mardaani 2 (Wikipedia, IMDB)

As the end credits rolled up, I couldn’t contain my tears – I rushed to the wash room and wept – not a tear or two, but a whole barrage of pent up emotions that just flooded out of my eyes. I tried but couldn’t control..

With the recent rape and murder incidents fresh in my mind, this movie hit a very raw spot – perhaps I wouldn’t be wrong if I said that I speak on behalf of all the women in India…  all women who are today, insecure, scared and unsure just because there is no legal recourse or support for crimes against women.

I say this because Nirbhaya’s mother’s tears still haven’t stopped – even 7 years after the incident. Law keeps on circling around endlessly, with no respite – and India, where Goddesses are prayed to, suffers in hands of rapists who continue to violate women while law continues to move on its own pace, denying justice to these women, girls and infant children.

For women who were given justice quickly, we have enquiry committees set up to investigate how and why these beast rapists were killed in an encounter – they have a right to live, right? Oh my my, so right!! Do you know how many cases are pending in India due to understaffed and overworked tribunals?

Economic Survey 2018-19 released in July 2019 expressed concern over huge pendency of cases in Indian courts due to shortage of judges, saying India needs additional 8,521 judges in the next five years to clear the backlog.

Former Chief Justice of India Dipak Misra had raised similar concerns over a year ago when 3.3 crore cases were pending. That figure burgeoned to 3.53 crore on July 1, 2019, with all high courts and lower courts short of 5,535 judges.

Source – News18 (June 2019)

Screenshot 2019-12-23 at 00.22.36

But no, we have staff free for enquiry committees for rare justice administered. Where all of India, all of women folk, all girls and all concerned men folk are celebrating justice for what happened to young veterinarian Dr. Disha’s perpetrators – two of whom have already confessed to being serial killers in Hyderabad, we have our respected Supreme Court, ordering inquiries into the encounter – calling it fake. Fake? I really don’t care. No woman cares. No Indian woman cares – justice was administered. Period.

Do you know how many rapes occurred after that ill-fated night of 27 November, when Dr. Disha was so brutally raped and burnt to death???????

As a woman, I feel helpless,

I see the ill managed government that talks about subjects like, “I don’t care about onions because my family doesn’t care about eating them” or something like that. I see funny and illogical acts being passed in the name of religion and citizenship. I see stupid registers being made for preparing a list of citizens.

I feel helpless, when I see the tears of Nirbhaya’s parents after umpteen court hearings that keep getting dates on pretexts of “rights”. Even in spite of this development – don’t you think it’s too late?

Maybe, just maybe, an Unnao or a Hyderabad could have been prevented had Nirbhaya’s perpetrators been put to death as soon as they were identified?

I feel helpless when I hear the news of Unnao rape victim who loses her dignity, right to live, her father’s life, her uncle’s arrest, the death of her two aunts by “accident” in which a lorry collided with her vehicle as she was headed towards court – until the said accused was convicted on 20 December 2019? Justice – is still a joke. Because.. the trial in the other four cases – framing of the rape survivor’s father in illegal firearms case, his death in judicial custody, a conspiracy of accused with others in the accident case and the separate gang rape case of the survivor by three others – are still going on in the court.

I feel helpless when .. as I write this blog post,

22 Dec 2019: A 16-year old rape victim committed suicide in Madhya Pradesh’s Khargone district after police allegedly refused to register her complaint

22 Dec 2019: 23-year-old rape victim, who set herself on fire outside the office of Superintendent of Police (SP) in Unnao, India on December 16, has died in a Kanpur hospital.

17 Dec 2019: Muzaffarpur woman, set on fire for resisting rape, dies in hospital

14 Dec 2019: 18 year old girl raped by her uncle and set ablaze in Fatehpur

4 Dec 2019: Raped her while she was alive, raped her when she was dead: Confession of a rapist and murderer on camera

I think I can’t go on.. no, I can’t. Since that ill fated night, I had read multiple reports on Inshorts of rape of women and girls as young as 4 years old, and although I meant to add those in this blog post – I realize, I just can NOT.

I feel helpless.

I feel helpless when Nirbhaya’s rapist says, a girl is far more responsible for a rape than a boy.

I feel helpless.. when the defence lawyer for the rapists says, “You are talking about man and woman as friends. Sorry, that doesn’t have any place in our society. A woman means I immediately put the sex in his eyes.”

I feel helpless.

For all my sisters who have gone through this ordeal, for those who could survive, for those like Nirbhaya and Disha who couldn’t, for those who venture out each day, with a prayer in their heart, for those who are fighting marital rape each day, for those like my sister who are still struggling for justice because our legal system is warped, for those I know and for those I don’t – all I can do is weep and pray for your safety.

The movie – Mardaani 2 said it all like it is, today. I know for a fact that in Uttarakhand, even till date, men deem women equal to the dust under their shoes – and want her to remain there. I know for a fact that men ogle at women and lust at them at every nook and corner and women can’t do anything about it. I felt deeply unsatisfied with the ending of the movie – how do you equate the brutality of a sadist convoluted rapist with a few hits of a belt? No – even castration isn’t enough.

As a woman, I am scared to give birth – what if the baby is a girl? I am scared for the unborn daughter I might have. I am scared for every little girl I see around me – I want to wrap her up in my arms and protect her – but how long and how many can I protect?

It’s a hopeless country, India. And I feel – extremely helpless.

 

 

 

 

Posted in Flame of Peace, God, Philosophy, Tears, Time, Uncategorized, wisdom

Dear Grandpa

I miss you.

You had set the foundation for our comfortable life, having come here with nothing and building everything from the scratch.

I remember how I used to play with your hair as a little child. You were so possessive with your hair and yet, whenever I felt like, I would get so many rubber bands and make little ponytails all over. You would check yourself in the small hand-held mirror and laugh.

I remember you started giving me pocket money every month when I turned 13. 200 rupees. I used to spend it in Archies – and would look forward to the next month.

I remember  how you were concerned about my health and that I am too skinny. I used to tease you by showing my non-existent biceps and you would burst out in laughter.

I remember how you would bring cartons of Goldspot and ThumsUp because we all loved them. You would also bring Cadbury’s Crackle, Dairy Milk and Fruit & Nut – again, cartons with 10 pieces so that we could eat them to our heart’s content!!

When I ventured out, you would be so concerned and would ask my mum how I am doing, whether I am eating well or not. You were so proud of me when I told you my salary and you just smiled from ear to ear.

When I came home two weeks back, seeing you in the condition that you were, brought me down to tears. I couldn’t resist sitting by your side and caressing your head. You caught hold of my hand tightly, as if to say, thank you – don’t go. When you refused to eat food, I coaxed you into opening your mouth so that I could push the food in. You had given up on life. I had to force water down your throat as you opened your lips a bit – you weren’t even ready to drink water!!

I ran to my dad and cried and cried – asking him if something could be done, but he said, no beta, this is life. He will get more harassed if we shift him to the hospital. Wistfully, I left for my job that Monday, and by Saturday, you were gone.

I got the phone call from dad while I was in a meeting Saturday early morning. I rushed home and cried and cried, thinking and thanking for coming home the previous week. I booked my tickets and when I reached home, seeing you, lying so peacefully inside the ice box, with an angelic smile on your face, broke my heart. You looked as radiant as alive. I wanted to touch you – but everyone had to come. Your last rites broke my heart again. As I bid farewell, I prayed that you would always watch over us, and forgive us for anything that we would have not been able to fulfill.

Daddy (as we call you), I love you, I miss you.

I am sad that you are no more, but grateful too, that your suffering has ended.

Stay with us in our memories and be there, our guardian angel.

 

Posted in #EndViolence, #introvert, #life, Challenges, Just Like That from the Justice Lady, lessons, Philosophy, questions, Relationships, Tears, Uncategorized, wisdom

Tears equal helplessness

Why do you cry so much? She asked

I don’t know.

But there must be a reason, right? She persisted.

Do you cry when you are sad?

Yes

Do you cry when you are hurt?

Yes

Do you cry when you are angry?

Yes, i think yes.

OK. Crying is a sign of helplessness. Are you helpless?

No answer

Are you helpless?

No.

Do you think you are so helpless that you can not take action? What could you have done differently, instead of crying?

I have no idea. I just felt so hurt, so dejected that the tears flowed. It was so unfair. It just wasn’t how things are done.

OK. So you felt hurt. But were you helpless? You could have addressed it head on. Right? Maybe you were scared that there would be a confrontation. Maybe you thought you would be blamed of something. Maybe… and there are a hundreds of maybes that I can give you.

End of the day, were you helpless? No. Could you have chosen another way? Yes.

So, next time, before you allow those tears to encroach upon your cheeks, ask yourself, “Am I helpless?” And if the answer is no, just act upon the reason of “No”. 

Female support

Posted in Food for Thought, Love, romance, Tears

Musical Monday: Dungar dukh na de

Background: This song is based on an old Sindhi folklore, akin to Heer and Ranjha. This is about Sassi and Punnu, two lovers who are separated after marriage.

The song is a beautiful amalgamation of spiritual love with that of the earthly love legends of Sassi and Punnu, a tragic folktale of unfulfilled romantic destiny of “Sassi”, a daughter of a king of Bhamboor (who was abandoned right after birth by her parents, but was later found and adopted by a washer man of this same village) and “Punnu”, who was the son of king from Baluchistan.

Poet says just as Sassi called for her love from one end of the mountain (“Dungar”) that separated the two, to reach out to her husband and love Punnu, after they were separated right after their marriage,

I call you, my lord, from this earth, as I am awake and have tasted the pleasure of your love. I implore you to take my soul to a higher plane…for I am tired of this petty existence and the pain of this separation from you. I long to live in your peaceful abode and sing in your praise.

The Poet says I have seen the world and its devious ways, I want to take the journey to you, no matter how tough it is, just as Sassi undertook the arduous journey from one end of the village to the other and walked for miles before she breathed her last in her pursuit of love. All I request is for you to help ensure that no obstacle ever hampers my journey to you…my Lord…my love.

Source: wikipedia

From the ends of the earth I call to you,
Call as my heart grows faint,
From the ends of the earth I call to you, when my heart is overwhelmed,
Lead me, Lead me, lead me to the rock,
Lead me, lead me, lead me to the rock that is higher than I,
Higher than I, higher than I,
Hear my cry,
hear my voice, lift me up,
I call to you,
Dungar Dukh na de, Adaade, Pand pachadi aaya
Dungar Dukh na de, Adaade, Pand pachadi aaya
Dungar Dukh na de,
 Dungar = Mountain
Dukh = pain
adade = elder brother
Dungar dukh na de = O Mountain, don’t cause me pain, brother
Pand = distances (having travelled so many feet)
pachade = left behind
aaya = have come
Pand pachade aaya = I have come having left long distances behind me
Lord, In your house I long to dwell, in your presence I sing
Chad da si jabbal chot te, Bhalom jaani Khan miya
Chad da si jabbal chot te, Sassi saathan ke bai saade, Addade
saathan ke pai sadde Adaade Pand pachadi aaya.
Dungar Dukh na de, Adaade,
Dungar Dukh na de, Adaa de,
Pand pachadi aaya Bhalo miya, Dungar Dukh na de,
From the ends of the earth I call to you,
Long as my heart goes free,
From the ends of the earth I call to you, when my heart is overwhelmed,
Lead me, Lead me, lead me to the rock,
Lead me, lead me, lead me to the rock that is higher than I,
Laaloon Laal lafit je, Bhalom jaani Khan miya
Laaloon Laal lafit je, Chakhaviya Hiit Chade
Adaade
Chakha viya Hiit Chade, Adaa De
Pand pachadi aaya
Dungar Dukh na de, Adaa de,
Dungar Dukh na de, Adaa de,
Pand pachadi aaya
Dungar Dukh na de, Adaa de,
Dungar Dukh na de, Adaa de,
Pand pachadi aaya 
Bhalo Miya adda
Dungar Dukh na de,
 O miya
CREDITS:
Language: Sindhi
Producer: Clinton Cerejo
Vocals: Sawan Khan
Lyrics: Traditional Lyrics & Psalm 61
Choir: The Salvation Singers conducted by Dylan D’souza
Keys: Beven Fonseca
Keys: Aman Mahajan
Drums: Lindsay D’Mello
Guitar: Shon Pinto
Guitar: Nyzel D’Lima
Bass: Rushaad Mistry
Dholak: Aslam Dafrani
Dholak: Haneef  Dhfrani
Backing Vocals: Lynn D’souza
Backing Vocals: Thomson Andrews
Backing Vocals: Dwayne Leroy Gamree
Backing Vocals: Crystal Sequeira

Posted in #life, Food for Thought, happiness, Inspiration, lady, lessons, Love, questions, Relationships, romance, Tears

She sold herself

“Aseen sajna tuti yaari da, ajj tak afsos manaunde rahe…
Tusee heera gawa ke khush phirde, asee pathran laay pachtaunde rahe”

I am nursing my broken heart, and still mourning for it till date,
You are happy losing a diamond, I am still regretting the loss of a pebble.


She was hurled out the car by the man she loved. She was drunk, drugged and high. Wandering on the streets aimlessly in the dark of the night, she sized up her past two relationships. They were more physical than emotional. Emotional at her end, but the men, only wanted her body. She couldn’t see it. Everyone tried to show her the truth. She defied.

She did not want to believe them, because she believed him. He wouldn’t commit. Yet, she believed him. There were red lights every time they spoke about marriage. Yet, she believed him. He would avoid talking about ‘us’. She had never been in any of his future plans. Yet, she believed him.

Today, when he unceremoniously hurled her out of his car, bang on the highway, in a state of stupor, her eyes suddenly saw what everyone was trying to show her. It was her body he had wanted all along. It was only sex. No love. She was dazed at the realization. All alone.

Passersby look at her – wierdo. She is talking to herself.

I am a commodity. You never loved me. I am only a commodity. How dare you do this to me. You knew HE had used me too, before you. Yet, you did the same thing to me. Nobody sees the heart that beats inside a woman’s body. A woman is only the sum total of her physical assets. You know what? So be it. If that is what it is, then that is what it is gonna be.

She is seen at red light areas now – in the same stupor, red-shot eyes and swaying in lilting dresses. People still use her. Use her body. At least, this time, she knows that that is what they want from her. At least, this time, they won’t take her heart and mangle it into a million bloody shreds. At least, they pay her now. She can always buy those drugs and keep herself high. Until her last breath. Bastards.

Built from: Heroine, Fashion and The Dirty Picture

Posted in #life, happiness, Love, Relationships, romance, Tears, walk into the woods

The thirteenth floor

“I can’t believe you have brought me to streets like these!!!”

“I just can’t believe this!! Aaahh, look at the muck – the street can hardly fit one car.” And half of it is filled up with garbage. She regretted having called the local guy to ask for electronic stores. Who knew this street would turn out to be a nightmare.

The cheek of this man with her – the street was so narrow, that they had to CLIMB platforms to cross hurdles.. and he did not even offer a hand! As if she did Spider Man stunts day in and day out…The cheek!!

“I can’t believe you are so fussy!” He said. “I am the one who doesn’t live here.. I have no problems. You are just being too fussy. see? This is why I bought such big boots. BTW I need another pair of those.” A cocky smile.

She raises her eyes in desperation! Men and their big boots. Hmmph!

“You better treat me to a good lunch after all this, I tell you.”

As they approach the Thirteenth Floor, he tells her how he had visited this restaurant with another friend and that it was a good place. She was just hungry. She didn’t care which floor it was, as long as they had food to eat. And well, the restaurant actually was on the thirteenth floor and was named so. Not bad.. they entered and he pointed towards the balcony where there were tables set up in open air.. under the skies..

Ahh.. now she smiles. She likes it. She likes this. 13th floor. What a view – they took a table near the parapet. The metro was visible below. She had never sat in the metro. She hadn’t bothered to figure out how to do that. Who cares.

She looked at the man who sat before her. His grey kurta looked royal on his broad shoulders. He had a smile on his face. A scrumptious lunch ensued, with little moments of love. She looked at him and wondered again. There were undercurrents between them, of uncertainty and tension. Both of them had their own battles to fight, but were scrambling for some moments of peace together. She thought, I can not live without him.

Of course she didn’t say that to him. They had a mutual understanding of avoiding the impending serious issues. Instead, she said, “Thanks for this wonderful lunch. It is as romantic as I would have wanted it to be. I love you.” This day would remain with her until the last day of her life. For some, these little joys are everyday affairs, but for some like her, they are like diamonds. You can’t have them again and again. Maybe only once. That’s all you can do before getting broke.

As they got up to leave, he wanted to click a few pictures of the view from the 13th floor. But of course, women – he knew she would protest if she wasn’t made a part of those pictures. So he cleverly and smartly takes one picture of hers, and then gets busy with click click click, capturing the metro below and some good cityscapes. Of course she sees through the ruse. She does protest a bit. But she is still reeling under the beauty of the lunch – the quiet togetherness, the romantic climate, the view, the entire feel of those two hours.

As the lift traversed to the ground floor, she told him, ‘Don’t ever leave me and go away.”

All he said was, “Haanji.”

Posted in #life, Chicken Soup for the Indian Bride's Soul, Food for Thought, God, lady, lessons, Tears, wisdom

This jinxed being called ‘GIRL’

It’s navratri – the nine days that we INDIANS celebrate to glorify the 9 forms of the Indian goddess Durga. Wake up, people… STOP worshipping female idols when you are so ruthlessly troubling the girl child. Wake up, people, for if you can not respect the women around you, what use is decorating the female idol with jewels and shiny clothes? Wake up, people, for if you can not protect your girl child, you have no right to worship the goddesses that represent the female form.

From here

When a girl is born, she is labelled jinxed. Even though they say, Lakshmi has come into the home, yet they do not treat her as Lakshmi… well, the girl does not say that you treat me like Goddess – all she says, is treat me like a human being – that’s all.

Why is it expected of girls to be sehensheel (strong, able to bear anything), patient and calm? No matter how many travails she passes through, nothing moves people – no suffering is great for a girl because she is expected to suffer. No pain is big for her because hundreds of girls and women around her are going through worse pain.

Whenever something bad happens to a girl, she is first taught to “adjust”. WHY? Why should she adjust? Does she have no rights to being happy? Does she have no rights to a PEACEFUL life? Does she have no dreams and should she not live a NORMAL life? WHY is she asked to adjust in derogatory surroundings where 90% of the day is filled up with suffering and 10% with a disturbed sleep? Where is she going wrong? What has she done to have been out through so much suffering?

From here

It is strange how people just dismiss the mental suffering that a girl goes through. The torture of MIL and SIL may not be visible on her body, yet the DIL is told, it is very common and it is nothing to worry about. Tell me, is it fair for any outsider to imagine what the girl is going through? Is it fair for anyone to judge the intensity of her suffering??? A needle might be very small pain, but if a needle keeps piercing at the same wound again and again and again, daily every night every hour, the wound turns into a big harmful painful suffering. Don’t people see that this is how it is?

Whenever a girl suffers and calls for help, the very first thing people around her do, is to make her understand that they themselves have gone through similar suffering, and what she is going through is NOTHING… WHAT as human beings, are we doing??? How is it fair to compare one girl’s suffering with another girl??? By denying her calls for help and by demeaning her problems, how do we expect to help? So I may have gone through similar pain – so should I want her to go through it too? Because I chose to, and I could deal with it, should I expect her to go through the same??? What is my guarantee that her pain is not greater than mine? What is my guarantee that she is stronger than I am? Am I being fair to her by pushing her to the edge, because I THINK what she is going through is nothing???

Am I not being an insensitive person when I negate her suffering and try to cover it up with useless words like it’s going to be fine.. it’s going to be okay??? HEY maybe I should use some common sense and see that things can be okay when the person giving the suffering is okay. Sadists and animals can not be okay – can not make a life okay. We are living in a world that is filled more with cheaters and sadists who can drop down to any levels to get away with their quirks and mean intentions. This is no place for an innocent girl to be. This is a big bad world where every other person is a WOLF waiting to pounce on a girl. This is a big bad world where LIES are made to be truth and where wolves walk in sheep’s clothing, to prey upon undoubting innocent people.

A man being angry is okay – because all men get angry. A man losing control is okay because all men do that. A man beating his wife is okay because it happens in most marriages?? WHY?

My questions are – How much suffering is “too much”? How much suffering should a girl put up with? How much pain is “unbearable”? How does a girl express her pain when it is not validated by physical marks? What are the benchmarks that the civilised world uses to validate mental torture?

Why doesn’t the world let a GIRL live? Just live?

This post is inspired by the following two posts I read at Shail’s and Ritu’s blogs:
http://shailsnest.com/2012/10/19/the-evil-mothers-in-law/
http://phoenixritu.com/dear-god-ji-i-want-to-be-born-a-woman-again/

Posted in Chicken Soup for the Indian Bride's Soul, Fantasy, happiness, lessons, Love, love msgs, Relationships, romance, Tears, walk into the woods

Sapne… pagle sapne

लाखों  बार  समझाया ,  फिर  भी  ये सपने  पगले  सपने

हर  रात  आकर  जगा  जाते  हैं  अरमानों  की   लहरें

क्यूँ  होता  है  ऐसा , की  हमको  वो  नहीं  मिलता

जिसे  हम  तहे  दिल  से  चाह  कर  पाने  की  रखते  हैं  तमन्ना

जले  हैं  हाथ  फिर  भी  दिल  को  फिर  से  जलने  दिया

लाख  समझाया , फिर  भी  सपनों  को  दुबारा  पलने  दिया

हर  दिन  हर  रात  टूटके  बिखरते  हैं  ये  सपने

फिर  सुबह  सवेरे  नयी  डोर  से  लिपट  जाते  हैं  पगले  सपने

कौन  समझाए   इनको , की  न  हो  इतने  बेचैन

जब  टूटना  ही  है  हर  रोज़ , तोह  क्यूँ   जुड़ते  हैं  सपने

जब  टूटना   ही  है  हर  रोज़  तोह  क्यूँ  जुड़ते  हैं  हम ?

पगले  कहती  हो  पूनम  हमको , तुम  हो  सबसे  बड़ी  बावरी

जीना  यही  है  जीना   सीखो , हर  पल  में  दुनिया  भर  लो

कल  को  ये  तो  नहीं  ग़म  होगा  कि  जिया  ही  नहीं , यह  क्या  किया

कल  को  मुड  कर  पीछे   देखा , तो  ज़िन्दगी  रेत   के  कण  की  तरह

हाथों  से  फिसलती  दिखेगी  जब  पूनम  तुमको ,

तो  क्या  हुआ  अगर  ज़िन्दगी  ने  तुमको  धोखा  दे  दिया ,

तब  तुम  यही  सोचोगी , की  सपने  तो   देखे , सपनो  में तो  जिया

Translation:

Dreams.. Crazy dreams..

I’ve told myself a million times, but crazy dreams just don’t listen to me.

Bringing waves of desires, every night, they overwhelm me.

Why don’t we ever receive that, which we desire

from the deepest depths of the heart?

Once bitten, yet I let my heart burn yet again,

Tried to stop a million times, yet let those dreams simmer again

Every night and every day, these dreams shatter

like shards of broken glass,

Yet the next dawn sees crazy dreams arising into a new beginning again

Someone implore them to exercise restraint,

Why arise and shine when they have to disintegrate every day?

Why we arise and shine when we have to disintegrate every day?

You call us crazy, but you are the biggest fool.

Know that this is life, your world in each of its moments,

At least you’d have no regrets tomorrow, on how you lived your life

Looking back at today, Punam, when you see your life

Escaping through your fingers like slippery grains of sand

To hell with life and its grand betrayals,

At least, you dreamt!!

At least, your dreams were alive!!


Laakhon baar samjhaya, phir bhi yeh sapne pagle sapne

Har raat aakar jaga jaate hain armaanon ki lehrein

Kyun hota hai aisa, ki humko woh nahin milta

Jise hum tahe dil se chah kar paane ki rakhte hain tamanna

Jale hain haath phir bhi dil ko phir se jalne diya

Laakh samjhaya, phir bhi sapnon ko dobara palne diya

Har din har raat tootke bikhar te hain yeh sapne

Phir subah savere nayi dor se lipat jaate hain pagle sapne

Kaun samjhaye inko, ki na ho itne bechaen

Jab toot na hi hai har roz, toh kyun judte hain sapne

Jab tootna hi hai har roz toh kyun judte hain hum?

Pagle kehti ho punam humko, tum ho sabse badi baawri

Jeena yahi hai jeena seekho, har pal mein duniya bhar lo

Kal ko yeh toh nahin gham hoga ki jiya hi nahin, yeh kya kiya

Kal ko mud kar peeche dekha, toh zindagi ret ke kan ki tarah

Haathon se phisalti dikhegi jab punam tumko,

To kya hua agar zindagi ne tumko dhokha de diya,

Tab tum yahi sochogi, ki sapne toh dekhe, sapno mein to jiya

Posted in #life, Fantasy, Fiction, Flame of Peace, Food for Thought, happiness, lady, lessons, Love, Tears, Time, Verses n Rhymes, wisdom

Blues and Blacks

I’ve tasted blue. I’ve also tasted black.
Life can’t be so mean.
The mirror manages to look so clean.
Who is that in the image that I see?
I am beyond recognition now.

Listless eyes staring back at my own image
And a thousand unanswered questions on a rampage
A lot of whys interspersed with screaming No’s
Who is to blame for life’s unfair gallows?
My reflection manages to swindle me
Because it no longer knows! “Who’s she?”

Slowly ever so steadily, she sees a silhouette behind her image
The face is unclear.. very very hazy, like someone’s hiding behind smoke.
But the figure has deep dark eyes, penetrating gaze…
From behind my image, I see those eyes

And slowly, my own reflection starts dwindling…
As if moving backward towards the smoky haze
Slowly, steadily, as time ticks on, second by micro second,
The image .. the me I see, is moving away.

And as the twain meet, in the mirror, another world,
the blues and blacks turn into a myriad of rainbow colours.
And I stand there, perplexed, confused, Who’s she??
Pat comes the answer from deep inside me, “It’s ME!!!”

Bliss!! Oh bliss, can it be true?
Blacks are not any more blue
What has changed? What happened?
Was it a raid? Was it a heist?

I’ve tasted blue. I’ve also tasted black.
No wonder what went wrong..
Did something go wrong?
Maybe the wrong suddenly went right.

Life can be very mean
But that’s only to teach you what is mean.
Darkness makes the light shine
And stars fall down right upon mine.

Posted in painting, questions, Tears, watercolour painting

Confusion

Confusion
Painting in watercolour

This is probably the most unfriendly painting I’ve ever made.
The blotches are deliberate, because I was in that state of mind,
confused and bewildered and this is how it came out.

This one was meant to reflect a state of mind.