Dear Grandpa

I miss you.

You had set the foundation for our comfortable life, having come here with nothing and building everything from the scratch.

I remember how I used to play with your hair as a little child. You were so possessive with your hair and yet, whenever I felt like, I would get so many rubber bands and make little ponytails all over. You would check yourself in the small hand-held mirror and laugh.

I remember you started giving me pocket money every month when I turned 13. 200 rupees. I used to spend it in Archies – and would look forward to the next month.

I remember  how you were concerned about my health and that I am too skinny. I used to tease you by showing my non-existent biceps and you would burst out in laughter.

I remember how you would bring cartons of Goldspot and ThumsUp because we all loved them. You would also bring Cadbury’s Crackle, Dairy Milk and Fruit & Nut – again, cartons with 10 pieces so that we could eat them to our heart’s content!!

When I ventured out, you would be so concerned and would ask my mum how I am doing, whether I am eating well or not. You were so proud of me when I told you my salary and you just smiled from ear to ear.

When I came home two weeks back, seeing you in the condition that you were, brought me down to tears. I couldn’t resist sitting by your side and caressing your head. You caught hold of my hand tightly, as if to say, thank you – don’t go. When you refused to eat food, I coaxed you into opening your mouth so that I could push the food in. You had given up on life. I had to force water down your throat as you opened your lips a bit – you weren’t even ready to drink water!!

I ran to my dad and cried and cried – asking him if something could be done, but he said, no beta, this is life. He will get more harassed if we shift him to the hospital. Wistfully, I left for my job that Monday, and by Saturday, you were gone.

I got the phone call from dad while I was in a meeting Saturday early morning. I rushed home and cried and cried, thinking and thanking for coming home the previous week. I booked my tickets and when I reached home, seeing you, lying so peacefully inside the ice box, with an angelic smile on your face, broke my heart. You looked as radiant as alive. I wanted to touch you – but everyone had to come. Your last rites broke my heart again. As I bid farewell, I prayed that you would always watch over us, and forgive us for anything that we would have not been able to fulfill.

Daddy (as we call you), I love you, I miss you.

I am sad that you are no more, but grateful too, that your suffering has ended.

Stay with us in our memories and be there, our guardian angel.

 

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Random Pic Random Post 5: Holiday

3D white wooden table looking out to a defocussed tropical lands

Just You and Me

Sitting by the ledge overlooking a serene lagoon

Feet slightly immersed in cool water,

Little happy fish celebrating our togetherness.

Bliss.

Most valuable gem

I bought some gem stones today.

Also a bracelet made with all the stones. But then, I was debating how much more to spend, for it’s an endless street. You go in, and unless your brain pulls you out, you just don’t stop. I got so attracted to Malachite that I just couldn’t express. I went wayyyy beyond my budget to indulge in … yes, gem stones.

8231173898_348f0f9435_b

The beautiful Malachite

But then that’s not what I want to tell you about.

This very benign gentleman, humble as ever, recognized me as soon as I entered Lucky Gems. He was very happy to see me. We got talking and he said he had just returned from Kashmir, having spent 20 days with his Sufi guru.

And I was really amazed. He was so humble. He said something that really struck me.

In his words,”My Guru says that we plan such huge things, big dreams, bigger houses, long cars, huge bungalows, loads of money, but we don’t realize that the ENTIRE life is inside just that O.N.E. L.I.T.T.L.E. H.E.A.R.T.B.E.A.T. That’s all. Jab tak woh dhadkan hai, tab tak zindagi hai.”

Now, can I say without a doubt that this bit of knowledge has made me millions more richer than any money would.

I told him, “Uncle, you know, what I just bought from you might be precious gem stones, but they are not the most valuable thing that I am taking away with me from you – it’s these words that you just said, that are precious.”

And I just came back home, ONLY to blog about this, and share my ecstasy with the world.

I will add pictures of my coveted bracelets and stones in my subsequent blog posts.

For now, I am mighty enchanted. Mmmm…

In a moment of time

You meet a stranger,

He’s no more a stranger – in a moment of time

You form an impression,

Your past experience prompts that impression – in a moment of  time

You expect all to be good

That’s because you see all as you are – in a moment of time

Life is created with a union, in a moment of time.

Life ends – in a moment of time

Why then, can’t we forgive?

Why then, do we hold grudges for eternity?

 

The sky as it is in a fantasy – but this is reality

* Repost for my all-new audience, do check out the comments before each picture. 🙂

In one of my recent trips, I took these pictures again.. yes sky pictures.. somehow, these can never cease to bore me. I am so so sooo fascinated by the sky, especially when I am travelling.

These pictures have come out exceptional, especially the one which has the sun’s rays .. looks divine.

Do let me know if you all think so too. 🙂

Wanna play stepping stones? Notice the rays of the sun on the top left corner?

Emotion: Calm

Annndd.. the plane tilted. 🙂

Emotion: Amusing

Doesn’t this look divine? Like the sun has just opened its armssss wideee.. !!

Emotion: Conflict

A Secret Kingdom lies beyond …

Emotion: Peace

Sky or Ocean Waves??? SKYY definitely!!! Yes, really!!

Emotion: Torment, kashmakash

When I sleep… zzz… *think*… zzz… *think*…

I have a very strange life and a very strange habit.

Just before I go to sleep, my mind is racing.. and since I do not get to blog too much, I think a lot.. and I think entire blog posts which get lost in the labyrinths of my mind.

So during these moments just before dozing off, my mind is racing about some important topic I want to write about in my blog.. and it starts simulating the whole process.. exactly the way THIS very blog post is coming into existence. I start off with a good beginning, then move on to explaining the whole point of view and then end it – this process goes on without a hitch – in a very smooth practiced manner.

And what is even more stranger, yes, a friend just called me “psycho” – THRICE, playfully of course, but I positively do not like being called so – because it reminds me of someone else.. but that is besides the point – what is even more stranger, is that sometimes, i recite entire poems in my dreams/sleep/half-awake state – and these poems are actually beautiful poems, if only I could get up right then and record them… I don’t, obviously, and hence, I lose them in the memories of time.

Now, I wonder if this happens to anybody.
Because I am strange. Yes. But then, I would like to believe every person is, in their own right. I believe every person has his/her strange wierdo qualities that make them unique.

Art Prints

And I am proud of mine.. I am proud of the way I am.. the way my heart is, and the way my mind is.. I know I am capable of giving unconditional love, and that I am capable of keeping someone happy. This has been a quality in me that I cherish – the amount of patience I can have and the lengths I can go to, to “give”.

Sounds like justification? Ooppss!!

Coming back to writing, I must make more time for my blog.
I have so much to say.. so many thoughts rushing inside my mind and waiting to pour out.
Or I will surely go crazy.

PS: The last couple of days have been a bit on the rougher side, and I am feeling all weak and mentally worn out. So perhaps my next few posts might speak my state of mind… Never the less.. like life has seasons, my blog does too. I am just proud to be me. 🙂

Thank you for reading me.