Random Pic Random Post 5: Holiday

3D white wooden table looking out to a defocussed tropical lands

Just You and Me

Sitting by the ledge overlooking a serene lagoon

Feet slightly immersed in cool water,

Little happy fish celebrating our togetherness.

Bliss.

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What it means being an Empath

I didn’t know that I am an Empath.

woman-cat-empath.jpg

As I move ahead on my spiritual path and discover new things about myself in this journey, I have received a lot of answers to questions that I always had, and to those that I never had either.

I will try my best to share this journey with you, maybe one of you will identify with it, who knows?

  1. Songs affect me in a huge way. I can not bear to listen to some songs (esp from the oldies lot like Kishore Kumar’s) because they make me depressed.
  2. Deja Vu is a common phenomenon with me, because I tend to have the feeling of “I’ve been here before”, or “I’ve seen him/her before” quite often.
  3. Pink skies make me depressed and a bit scared as well.
  4. I am highly highly sensitive and tend to pick up vibes very quickly. (To my deepest chagrin, at work, I am just the opposite..!!!!)
  5. I like/do not like cities or places according to the vibes I get.
  6. I tend to immediately catch the feelings of a person around me if they are sad, depressed or in grief.
  7. I cry a lot… a lot means really a lot. Every emotion results in tears – joy, sorrow, grief, anger, irritation, upset – every damn emotion and the tears flow.
  8. When someone shares their feelings with me, I suffer along with them because those feelings and emotions become me and I become them. This is the worst trait I have.
  9. Hate crowds. Hate empty stores too. Extremes.
  10. These movies disturbed me very badly: Trapped, Life, Alien Covenant – you get the point.
  11. Long conversations, especially with acquaintances tire me out. I can’t sustain long phone conversations either.
  12. Loud noises, loud speakers, screaming people etc. disturb me and drive me to madness. So also, I get startled easily, even by something as small as the ringing of a phone – I jump out of my seat. There have been times when I actually dropped the phone when it started ringing.
  13. I can NOT multitask. Neither physically not mentally. Conversely, I can read two books parallelly – but each a bit at a time, I can switch from reading to painting to crochet to cooking faster than a butterfly switching flowers.
  14. I need time out after social get togethers, not that I go to too many of them.
  15. I have this very strong innate desire to heal others. Like I sometimes wish I had a magic wand to do that.
  16. You can NOT force me to do what I do not want to do. If you force me, I will feel suffocated.
  17. I am always disturbed by injustice. If I see any injustice happening around me, I have to hold the urge to get involved and give a piece of my mind. (My latest anger is directed towards Mr. Modi for coming up with privacy-killing ideas such as compulsory registration of marriages. What will women in our society do? He is so insensitive to women. My second latest is against trolls who want to keep pestering people who have no interest in them.)
  18. Many times, I feel emotions that I have no idea where they have come from. I go down without reason, I am happy without reason… I have no idea what touches me during my course of the day.
  19. You may have hurt me profusely and you may have back-stabbed me, but I will reach out if I know you are in pain. And I beat myself up for it, because it is the most vulnerable thing to do – put yourself up for more pain with people who do not value you.
  20. And of couse, I am drawn to healing modalities. Obviously.

That makes 20 of them.

 

Diaries of a Hechicera: Meet me ;-)

Hechicera means Enchantress – one who can put a spell on you with her qualities.

Today, Hechicera reveals herself.
She is the girl next door , the girl of your dreams, the lady in your fantasies.

She is a dreamer, a compulsive dreamer. She is inside you – the person who has always wished for the moon and the stars. She lives in her own world, she has her own language, she sings her own songs…

She has nothing to do with the big bad world. In her little world, there is only love, affection, kindness and gentleness. She does not want to leave her world. She wants to stay there forever. She wants her friends and her love to join her in her world. She wants to keep them away from the big bad world.

Call her Maya. She is Maya – the lady who danced in green fields in the white dress.. her dupatta flowing with the winds… her arms dancing to the enchanting tune… she is your imagination.

She is on a journey towards the Unknown. But she has faith that the Unknown will be where her heart is. She is constantly searching for the elusive someone. She is searching for her heart. She thinks the destination will be the start of another journey. If you follow her, she will crumble away into nothingness. If you try to touch her,she will melt away. If you want her, you can never have her. If you already have her, you can never lose her. She – is Hechicera.

Here’s my question to you, my lovely readers.

Who is YOUR Hechicera? Why is she your Hechicera?

Let us see you answer this one. I would like to know who Maya is for all of you out there reading this fantasy story.

The thirteenth floor

“I can’t believe you have brought me to streets like these!!!”

“I just can’t believe this!! Aaahh, look at the muck – the street can hardly fit one car.” And half of it is filled up with garbage. She regretted having called the local guy to ask for electronic stores. Who knew this street would turn out to be a nightmare.

The cheek of this man with her – the street was so narrow, that they had to CLIMB platforms to cross hurdles.. and he did not even offer a hand! As if she did Spider Man stunts day in and day out…The cheek!!

“I can’t believe you are so fussy!” He said. “I am the one who doesn’t live here.. I have no problems. You are just being too fussy. see? This is why I bought such big boots. BTW I need another pair of those.” A cocky smile.

She raises her eyes in desperation! Men and their big boots. Hmmph!

“You better treat me to a good lunch after all this, I tell you.”

As they approach the Thirteenth Floor, he tells her how he had visited this restaurant with another friend and that it was a good place. She was just hungry. She didn’t care which floor it was, as long as they had food to eat. And well, the restaurant actually was on the thirteenth floor and was named so. Not bad.. they entered and he pointed towards the balcony where there were tables set up in open air.. under the skies..

Ahh.. now she smiles. She likes it. She likes this. 13th floor. What a view – they took a table near the parapet. The metro was visible below. She had never sat in the metro. She hadn’t bothered to figure out how to do that. Who cares.

She looked at the man who sat before her. His grey kurta looked royal on his broad shoulders. He had a smile on his face. A scrumptious lunch ensued, with little moments of love. She looked at him and wondered again. There were undercurrents between them, of uncertainty and tension. Both of them had their own battles to fight, but were scrambling for some moments of peace together. She thought, I can not live without him.

Of course she didn’t say that to him. They had a mutual understanding of avoiding the impending serious issues. Instead, she said, “Thanks for this wonderful lunch. It is as romantic as I would have wanted it to be. I love you.” This day would remain with her until the last day of her life. For some, these little joys are everyday affairs, but for some like her, they are like diamonds. You can’t have them again and again. Maybe only once. That’s all you can do before getting broke.

As they got up to leave, he wanted to click a few pictures of the view from the 13th floor. But of course, women – he knew she would protest if she wasn’t made a part of those pictures. So he cleverly and smartly takes one picture of hers, and then gets busy with click click click, capturing the metro below and some good cityscapes. Of course she sees through the ruse. She does protest a bit. But she is still reeling under the beauty of the lunch – the quiet togetherness, the romantic climate, the view, the entire feel of those two hours.

As the lift traversed to the ground floor, she told him, ‘Don’t ever leave me and go away.”

All he said was, “Haanji.”

Sapne… pagle sapne

लाखों  बार  समझाया ,  फिर  भी  ये सपने  पगले  सपने

हर  रात  आकर  जगा  जाते  हैं  अरमानों  की   लहरें

क्यूँ  होता  है  ऐसा , की  हमको  वो  नहीं  मिलता

जिसे  हम  तहे  दिल  से  चाह  कर  पाने  की  रखते  हैं  तमन्ना

जले  हैं  हाथ  फिर  भी  दिल  को  फिर  से  जलने  दिया

लाख  समझाया , फिर  भी  सपनों  को  दुबारा  पलने  दिया

हर  दिन  हर  रात  टूटके  बिखरते  हैं  ये  सपने

फिर  सुबह  सवेरे  नयी  डोर  से  लिपट  जाते  हैं  पगले  सपने

कौन  समझाए   इनको , की  न  हो  इतने  बेचैन

जब  टूटना  ही  है  हर  रोज़ , तोह  क्यूँ   जुड़ते  हैं  सपने

जब  टूटना   ही  है  हर  रोज़  तोह  क्यूँ  जुड़ते  हैं  हम ?

पगले  कहती  हो  पूनम  हमको , तुम  हो  सबसे  बड़ी  बावरी

जीना  यही  है  जीना   सीखो , हर  पल  में  दुनिया  भर  लो

कल  को  ये  तो  नहीं  ग़म  होगा  कि  जिया  ही  नहीं , यह  क्या  किया

कल  को  मुड  कर  पीछे   देखा , तो  ज़िन्दगी  रेत   के  कण  की  तरह

हाथों  से  फिसलती  दिखेगी  जब  पूनम  तुमको ,

तो  क्या  हुआ  अगर  ज़िन्दगी  ने  तुमको  धोखा  दे  दिया ,

तब  तुम  यही  सोचोगी , की  सपने  तो   देखे , सपनो  में तो  जिया

Translation:

Dreams.. Crazy dreams..

I’ve told myself a million times, but crazy dreams just don’t listen to me.

Bringing waves of desires, every night, they overwhelm me.

Why don’t we ever receive that, which we desire

from the deepest depths of the heart?

Once bitten, yet I let my heart burn yet again,

Tried to stop a million times, yet let those dreams simmer again

Every night and every day, these dreams shatter

like shards of broken glass,

Yet the next dawn sees crazy dreams arising into a new beginning again

Someone implore them to exercise restraint,

Why arise and shine when they have to disintegrate every day?

Why we arise and shine when we have to disintegrate every day?

You call us crazy, but you are the biggest fool.

Know that this is life, your world in each of its moments,

At least you’d have no regrets tomorrow, on how you lived your life

Looking back at today, Punam, when you see your life

Escaping through your fingers like slippery grains of sand

To hell with life and its grand betrayals,

At least, you dreamt!!

At least, your dreams were alive!!


Laakhon baar samjhaya, phir bhi yeh sapne pagle sapne

Har raat aakar jaga jaate hain armaanon ki lehrein

Kyun hota hai aisa, ki humko woh nahin milta

Jise hum tahe dil se chah kar paane ki rakhte hain tamanna

Jale hain haath phir bhi dil ko phir se jalne diya

Laakh samjhaya, phir bhi sapnon ko dobara palne diya

Har din har raat tootke bikhar te hain yeh sapne

Phir subah savere nayi dor se lipat jaate hain pagle sapne

Kaun samjhaye inko, ki na ho itne bechaen

Jab toot na hi hai har roz, toh kyun judte hain sapne

Jab tootna hi hai har roz toh kyun judte hain hum?

Pagle kehti ho punam humko, tum ho sabse badi baawri

Jeena yahi hai jeena seekho, har pal mein duniya bhar lo

Kal ko yeh toh nahin gham hoga ki jiya hi nahin, yeh kya kiya

Kal ko mud kar peeche dekha, toh zindagi ret ke kan ki tarah

Haathon se phisalti dikhegi jab punam tumko,

To kya hua agar zindagi ne tumko dhokha de diya,

Tab tum yahi sochogi, ki sapne toh dekhe, sapno mein to jiya

Unsettled

It was a hot summer noon
As I approached the city
Horses greet me on the way,
Pulling a royal chariot away..
Unsettled.

A mission to seek
An abode meek
Nothing great,
Just a humble piece.
Unsettled.

Wandered, hour after hour
Long days turned into longer nights
I would see myself staring into space
Wondering when life would take pace
Unsettled.

I miss those days, when we were two
Hand in hand, our dreams we drew
Sapne dekhogi nahin toh poore kaise honge
(If you don’t have dreams in the first place,
How will you fulfill them?)
Was all you said, and I KNEW… Yet,
Unsettled.

I have to stay calm, the test of time
Time is for sure, the best healer
As I live my life in bits n pieces,
I dream away…
Unsettled.

I live a life of fragments
Each fragment an eternity
So u see, kind sire, thou art eternities away from me
WHEN oh when do you plan to appear…
Unsettled.

Stars twinkling in my eyes,
I gaze at the moon-less sky
I see your perfect features
And wonder we are so far, why
Unsettled.

Rain drops falling on my face
I used to love them so
Will we see them together
While the soft breeze flows
Unsettled.

As I build an empty home
With trinkets and junkets of stuff
I see myself wandering through
A life of no consequence…
Unsettled.

I feel overtly unsettled
With tensions unbridled
Like a note in a bottle at sea
tossing and turning with waves,
Unsettled.

Not knowing who will read the note,
Pray, will a prince appear?
Out of nowhere to read me and my heart,
And take me to the shores, in arms cosseted..
Until then,
Unsettled. Period.