Turning back

She found his sister-in-law walking down the street opposite to her house. It had been 8 years since she had seen any of his family members. Debating whether to avoid or not, she found her approaching. In her heart, she missed the friendship she had shared with his sister. It was an easy-going friendship, one that was without judgement. She called her ‘didi’, and not ‘bhabhi’. She did not want to bring the ‘weight’ of a bhabhi-wala relation into the simple sisterly friendship.

As didi approached, she hugged her, reminiscing the days gone by. Didi took her to her house, where there were a lot of people buzzing around, maybe for a wedding that was planned in the house. She felt amiss. Didi took her to a room and asked her to wait. On the other side of the room, she felt a presence. Ma. She jumped in surprise, went ahead and hugged ma too. Touched feet. Ma was distanced and detached. She handed me a letter. A handwritten letter.

She just took and just gave it a listless glance. No expression. When she went to her room, she found him there. She had forgiven him and had no weight in her heart. So, she greeted him politely.  Apparently, they all wanted him and her to get back together. She thought in her heart, that it was a foolish wishful want. She debated whether to cut this conversation short or see what he had to say. Curiosity took over and she took a seat 5 feet away from him. They spoke about inconsequential things. Then his intention was to move on to personal chat, but she sensed it and cut him short. She wanted to leave, but he got angry. All she said was, “You are still the same. Lower your temper.”

And she went to her parents to tell them to go and ask that family to move on. What did she achieve from that conversation? Not sure, maybe she had the satisfaction of knowing that it was the right thing to do, to walk out. Rather, to accept that he walked out. That a piece of paper with two signatures mean nothing when someone does not want to nurture a relationship. And of course, vice versa.

She thought of the man she now had in her life. Dynamic, mature and extremely loving. She thanked her stars. A small smile escaped her lips.

Track 2:

In her words:

The wedding atmosphere suddenly turned into tension filled melee. She was puzzled. Then people came running and shouting that the groom has halted the wedding celebrations because he wanted 10 lakhs immediately. The bride’s parents tried to ask our parents to arrange for the money. And fools that they are, they way they chose that man for me, they scrambled around, arranging for it.

I asked them to stop the madness. Just. Stop. It.

How dare that girl not stop this by taking a stand?? This for God’s sake is the 21st century. Educated people do NOT blackmail the bride’s family for money on the altar of marriage. What stops her from walking out? Is it okay to see her parents begging others for money? Is it okay to see the elderly couple scrambling around, and losing their wits on something as inconsequential as “buying a groom for their daughter”????

Track 3:

She wakes up with a jolt, angry and upset. Why after so many years, did she see this dream? Perhaps somewhere in her psyche, she expected him to come and apologize to her. And perhaps, somewhere in her psyche, she wants all those girls to stand up for their parents, who feel they are a victim of the society’s demands for sending a daughter with loads of materialistic things, with or without demand.

Track 4:

She thought of her parents who had the strength that ONLY true love could give, to support and in fact, help her in the brave decision she took so many years ago. She smiled as she saw the way her father’s head held high, when she told him of the salary hike she recently got. He is one proud father – he has seen her move from being a meek domestic girl to a confident corporate lady.

She immediately picked up her phone, and dialled Papa.

Smiling Female Business Leader With Arms Crossed

LinkedIn Policing

One of the ladies on LinkedIn, Suman Agarwal posted the following question:

Should a woman stay in an abusive marriage for her kids or move out for her kids?

It’s obvious that the question would invite a barrage of debatable comments. But I do not want to talk here about the answer to that question right now. We will come to that later. What shocked me is the number of people who started commenting on whether LinkedIn is the right forum for this question.

Some even advised Suman to post it on Facebook.

Some such high headed commentors included women – sadly.

Here are some classic comments and replies to them from level-headed people:

**Advance Warning: I have collated about 50 comments from 500 – worked hard on it. Go ahead only of you have the patience to read them. You can scroll down though, but won’t comprehend why I am so cross.

40

Can’t even talk English. But saving family is lady’s responsibility, even if she is abused.

39

Spend more time with the husband so that he can abuse her more. Mr srinivaas makes perfect sense.

And Ms Swetha Kala – wants to try and change the man, cater to his needs, understand… and what not, ridiculous!!!

38

We all are fools. Mr Tyagi has an IQ of Marilyn vos Savant.

36

Society is perfectly normal when it accepts man abusing woman. But raising a voice is misleading a society. Wow.

35

34

How spiritual!!

33

32

31

I want to go to the garden of Eden!!!

30

292827

ahem ahem, best poetry award!!

2625242322212019181716151413b13a121110987654321

 

People can not have the compassion to offer their view but have the galls to waste their precious time writing “Post in another forum”.

And, trust me, it made me livid. Such an important issue – every forum counts, every supporting comment, every possible solution counts!!! Sadly, people like this lady love posting such comments, diverting attention from an important issue to the relevance of the platform. Hello? Why are YOU commenting on that post if it’s not supposed to be on LinkedIn???

Instead of contributing value to the debate, they sit on their high chairs and JUDGE.

Too many rants these days, but the Justice Lady just can’t take it!!!

Why do people not let women be, not let them take their decisions, not let them flourish by themselves without raising fingers?

 

In a moment of time

You meet a stranger,

He’s no more a stranger – in a moment of time

You form an impression,

Your past experience prompts that impression – in a moment of  time

You expect all to be good

That’s because you see all as you are – in a moment of time

Life is created with a union, in a moment of time.

Life ends – in a moment of time

Why then, can’t we forgive?

Why then, do we hold grudges for eternity?

 

A Mundane Rant

Well, apparently the electricity board has got privatized. Yeah, I sometimes tend to be oblivious to some of the “important” developments in our country.

Well, last month was hectic and the electricity bill slipped off my mind. What do you know???

Ting Tong!!

I open the door. Madam, have you paid the electricity bill?

Me: I don’t think so. I will check in my mail box and pay it today.

She: No madam, pay it right now, within one hour. I am disconnecting the power supply to your home. When you pay it, someone will come and switch it on.

Me: thinking, What??? No reminder, no nothing, straight banging on my door with a threat!!

Me: Dekhiye madam, I told you I shall pay it. Don’t cut the light. There is a patient in my house. (A relative was getting treated for a serious health issue and she is staying with me.)

She: No madam. Nothing doing. Have you picked up your light bill?

Me: Not yet

HE (someone who accompanied this haughty lady): Kya madam, light bill dekhna maangta hai ki nahin??? Shouting at the TOP of his voice so that the entire neighborhood could hear.. the old lady on the ground floor actually came out of her flat and started asking those guys to efff off and not trouble me.

Me: thinking, unbelievable!!

Me: How can you guys just barge into an elite society and accuse someone of not paying the bill? It’s peanuts for God’s sake!!! WHYY?? Why would you create a scene and insult someone for such a measly amount??? AND not give time to pay it off.

Finally, on the old lady’s behest (God bless her, she loves me)… they agreed to give me a couple of hours. I did what was required.

But this incident left a bad taste in my mouth. THIS is our developed India, where respectable citizens are harassed and threatened of being denied of basic amenities on the spot. And two citizens, and I don’t know how many more, are employed to knock on the doors of every house and threaten perfectly sane people who have all intentions of paying their hard-earned incomes for electricity and water and gas!!

Here’s what I found out from Mr. Google:

  • That it’s illegal to disconnect power supply without 15 days’ notice
  • That it’s also misuse of powers by the authority
  • That we can lodge a complaint to report this kind of rude behavior and misuse of power

Read these news articles:

MSEB did not leave even eminent ecologist Dr Madhav Gadgil’s house in spite of timely payment of bills.

The National Consumer Disputes Redressal Commission (NCDRC), an apex authority under the Consumer Protection Act (CPA), has rapped MSEDCL for resorting to illegal practice of disconnecting power supply of consumers without issuing notice under section 56 (1) of the Indian Electricity Act (IEA) 2003.

And that’s that.

Rant over.

Phew.

When nothing inspires

Some days are just like dampness.

You don’t like it and wait for it to dry out completely.

We tend to have such days and during those days, nothing seems to inspire us.

What do I do on such days?

  1. Meditate: I like to listen to guided meditation, especially those that allow for paced breathing and progressive muscle relaxation.
  2. Read: Although my reading has stopped for quite some while, I have days when reading soothes me. I can not read more than 20-30 pages at a time.
  3. Cook: Cooking is a big destressor for me. I forget everything when I cook.
  4. Mobile Game: Some times, you just want to kill time without taxing your brain – without making it “think”. A simple mobile game does the trick!!
  5. Sleeeeeeeeeeep: Nothing beats sleep and I am sure each one of you (except insomniacs) will agree with me.
  6. Watch videos: Funny, inspirational, TED Talks, How To’s, you choose what works for you. How To’s work for me.

What works for you?

Introvertish Peeves

  • No, thank you. I don’t need company.
  • Reply to any question: A—X–Z. I am done. In my mind, it goes “ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ”
  • Have to call someone – I will have a 101 reasons not to call ‘right now’. If I don’t, my clever mind will create 101 reasons. Note, ‘right now’ comes always.
  • Anti-social or pro-solitude
  • Socializing escape reasons: Too cold, too hot, unwell, have to cook, headache, well sometimes, just not interested, thanks. 😛
  • Best excuse: Oh, I don’t want to intrude. *Coy Smile.*
  • Bugging beliefs: Everyone’s around me is perfect, I am not. No one understands me.
  • We love helping out. Except, send us an email. Verbal doesn’t work. Ever.
  • Most of us need TIME to register conversations, and SPACE to privately express emotions over those conversations. Yes, we do have emotions.
  • Proud to be me. But sometimes, do invite me out.
  • There are just too many conversations running in my head to even consider a remote possibility of talking. Yep, we talk inside our heads. And no, we are not crazy.
  • No one can comprehend the joy of coming home!! It’s a Yay moment. And I am always always in a hurry to reach home, so that I can paint/cook/scrub the home/just do nothing.
  • My most hated statement, “Come out of your shell.”
  • When phone calls go beyond 15 minutes, (except of course a select few), I start losing attention and start wanting the conversation to end asap. I am not guilty about it. Sorry.
  • Shopping or window shopping by myself. I like. I like.
  • I always have a lot to say, but can almost never put it into words. If I try, I describe A as Z. God be with people close to me.
  • Arguments cause me great deal of distress because I can find no words to defend myself. All the words are stored in the Mind’s Cloud and come forth after the argument is over. Bleh!